December 24, 2013 in Features

The Slice: You know why they hate snow?

By The Spokesman-Review
 

OK, now is when we find out who really hates winter.

Someone whining about any prospect for frosty weather during this particular week on the calendar has to be considered a hard-core snowophobe.

That’s their right, of course. But it does raise a question.

From where do these people come?

I have a few theories. But let’s put it to a vote.

Here’s your ballot. (Cast your vote by phone, email, regular mail or carrier marmot.)

They come from California: OK, it’s almost certain that some of them do. But as there are countless kinds of transplanted Californians, it’s probably a mistake to assume one size fits all.

They come from Western Washington: That could be, though the same qualifier applies here. Not everyone who grew up in Tacoma or Bellingham got punched from the same mold.

They come from Montana: That’s plausible. Much of Montana has stout winters. Perhaps some residents who escaped to Spokane were thinking “I have had enough of subzero temperatures.”

They come from Canada: Sort of the same situation as with transplanted Montanans, except you also have the national pride factor. You would assume a transplanted Canadian would do anything to avoid being considered a winter wimp. But the large number of Canadians living in southern California suggests that might not be the only concern.

They come from warm-weather places such as Texas or Tennessee: Could be true in some cases. But it’s not unheard of for people who grew up watching “A Charlie Brown Christmas” while it is 70 degrees outside wind up craving full-throttle winter after they move north.

They come from nomadic Air Force lives: Maybe. Maybe not.

They come from right here in the Spokane area: Might be something to this. After all, sheer numbers suggest that must be true some of the time. Moreover, people who grow up with our four-seasons climate sometimes decide which season they could live without.

They come from (      ): What places did I overlook?

Today’s Slice question: What’s the surest sign that someone at a Christmas Eve service hasn’t been in a church before?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Remember kids, it’s going to be Christmas on the East Coast at 9 p.m.


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