February 11, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Sounds like grounds for a hidden camera

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Ever feel sorry for a stranger’s spouse?

Some guy at a Spokane grocery store’s butcher counter was making fun of his wife’s attempt to discontinue eating meat. She was nowhere to be seen.

Anyway, he just went on and on about it. Maybe that doesn’t qualify as mean. But it seemed a tad disloyal.

Of course, who knows what she says about him.

A colleague recalled a parenting tip from Homer Simpson: I think she was suggesting it could be recycled as advice on succeeding in the workplace.

“You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.”

Small World Department: You know that 62-year-old albatross still hatching chicks? She was in the news last week. Well, Ritzville’s Kathy Schafer, whose Navy family lived on Midway Atoll in 1955 when she was in the fourth grade, can’t help but wonder if she crossed paths with that mother-of-the-years bird dubbed Wisdom.

What to call your significant other: Ruth Salo suggested introducing the person as “My darling” or “My love.”

Ed Prych recommended “paramour.”

Warm-up questions: What do you do after asking your child’s grandparents to refrain from smoking or using racist language around the kid and they keep doing it? Which of your repeatedly divorced siblings seem to be competing to see who could marry the biggest loser? How many of your children’s friends seem to have behavior disorders? Did exchanging valentines with every child in your class back in the day make you grow up gay? How old were you when you realized the parents of some of your childhood friends were not exactly Ozzie and Harriet? If well-groomed achievers in business suits started spitting on Spokane sidewalks would people who already practice this inexplicable habit decide to find some other equally impotent way to express themselves? What’s your “Top Gun” nickname? Ever played the game where you add “in bed” to your fortune-cookie message?

Today’s Slice question: How often do you see someone board an airliner with an object that could not possibly fit in any of the available spaces?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Feel free to tap your nose because “The Sting” turns 40 this year.

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