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The Slice: Everyone put your hands together

Mon., Jan. 21, 2013, midnight

You might be aware that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends humming the “Happy Birthday” song twice while washing your hands to ensure that you devote enough time to the task.

Fine. But many of us are washing our hands a lot these days. So that tune is bound to get a little old.

What to do? That’s easy. Just work in a few alternative musical selections.

You can come up with your own playlist, of course. But I have a few suggestions, to help you get started.

“Birthday” by the Beatles. Of course. Take a cha-cha-cha-chance.

“Hellhound on My Trail” by Robert Johnson. Especially if you have a stressful job and are washing your hands at work.

“Pistol Packin’ Mama” by Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters. Why not?

“Get Up Offa That Thing” by James Brown. This could entertain others using the restroom.

“New Year’s Day” by U2. I … I will begin again.

“Just Like Heaven” by The Cure. One of the great hand-washing songs.

“More Than This” by Roxy Music. Long considered a restroom classic.

“(I’ve Got a Gal In) Kalamazoo” by the Glenn Miller Orchestra. If you are doing your part by washing your hands, please consider yourself a real pipperoo.

“Puff, the Magic Dragon” by Peter, Paul and Mary. Unless this still wrecks you after 50 years.

“That’s Amore” by Dean Martin. Fun to hum.

“Anarchy in the UK” by the Sex Pistols. Might as well let those microbes know whom they’re up against.

When gadgets in TV shows and movies make the same sounds as your personal electronics: “I say to myself ‘What was that, the show or my cellphone?’ ” wrote Andrea Foster. “I then start looking for my phone and then suddenly it stops before I find it. Then my question is ‘What?’ again.”

Julie Wenzel’s initial reaction is to feel hip and happening. “I have passing thoughts such as ‘Wow — now I know I am cool!’ But then I roll my eyes and remember that I live in Spokane.”

Today’s Slice question: If asked, how would you describe the content of your character?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Does it bug you when people refer to lower British Columbia as part of “the Northwest”?

 
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