The Slice: Shoveling something, it’s just not snow

Memo to 1977-version of Paul Turner: Time for a haircut.
Memo to 1977-version of Paul Turner: Time for a haircut.

Here are half a dozen unconvincing excuses for not shoveling snow.

“Spring will be here eventually and take care of it.”

“If I clear it off now, it will just snow more later.”

“I have heard that shoveling is bad for the aquifer.”

“Got that groin thing Miguel Cabrera had.”

“No lyric in ‘White Christmas’ mentions shoveling.”

“Seven inches isn’t enough to worry about.”

When you are done with the paper: “My newspaper is in pristine condition when I finish reading it each day,” wrote Pat Collier of Post Falls.

One way to get on the wrong side of her is to ask for a section of her paper and then maul it before handing it back. “When one of my kids is in town, they know better than to grab the newspaper before I am totally done with it. Does this sound a little OCD or what?”

Maybe. But I suffer from the same disorder.

Spokane’s Carol Davis has a different way of processing her morning newspaper. Using her pen, she adds artistic flourishes to photographs and illustrations. It’s not really defacing. “Enhancing” is the word she chose.

She might add whiskers, wrinkles and ear studs. Or she might go with the comedy classic, a blacked-out tooth.

“It helps me get started in the morning,” she said.

Slice answer: “For at least two decades, local authors/educators Kathy and Mitch Finley have religiously kept ‘date nights’ to keep that special spark in their marriage,” wrote Steve Shafer, a friend.

Warm-up question: Why are some people around here against sidewalks?

Today’s Slice question: Assuming you were alive back then, what statement did your 1977 hair style make?

(Feel free to email a photo to The Slice. Hey, I showed you mine. Show me yours.)

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Dave Wolfe said one way to avoid getting teachers in hot water with irascible parents of grade schoolers — re: the “How to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner” assignment — would be to ask home-school families to step in and take over.

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