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The Slice: Wake me when the halftime show starts

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist. (The Spokesman-Review)

Who is the S-R reader least interested in football?

Bob Ehrlich said he “dang near spit out my orange juice” when he saw last Thursday’s question. It reminded him of a Slice answer that appeared in October 2004.

I had asked what local couple is furthest apart on the spectrum of interest in sports. And Bob’s wife, Karen, had written to say that while her husband is a real sports fan, she could not care less. (She said this in a congenial way.)

Apparently that has not changed. Bob broke the news to Karen last week that football season had arrived. “She said she was looking forward to getting back to painting in her art room and would see me in January.”

She is not alone, of course. When it comes to paying attention to football, a few people punt.

“Can you care less than zero?” wondered Mike Storms.

Julie Clare thinks her husband might care the least. “A couple of years after moving to Denver (we are now back home in Spokane), we were watching the news one night. There was an interview on with Mike Shanahan (that city’s NFL coach at the time). He was standing in front of a Denver Broncos logo. My husband asked ‘Who is that guy talking in front of the horse head?’ ”

Jeff Gilbert said his wife, Kari, might be least interested. He quoted her reaction to a special addition to last Thursday’s S-R: “Look, a whole section of the paper about football. What a waste of paper.”

Heidi Paul nominated herself. “I can throw a mean Stupid Bowl party but don’t ever expect me to watch.”

She said the only sports worth observing are surfing, motocross, snowmobile racing and boat races. She would rather “eat a candle” than be trapped in a room with football fans.

Among others who nominated themselves were Mary Lynn Hutchison, Mike Rogers, Judy Davis, Forrest Schuck, Melody Faris, Rosalyn Clark, Ken Stout and Kelly Reinlasoder.

Estellene Shaver said she doesn’t know a thing about football but admitted that certain members of her extended family think it is a big deal that she went to school with Jerry Kramer.

Today’s Slice question: If you had your own charitable foundation, what would be its purpose?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Some huggers move fast.

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