September 14, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Your first logical step is avoiding the shiny trail

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Earlier sundowns set the stage for interpretive dance.

At least that’s how it appears as we observe neighbors high-stepping in the gloaming.

In reality, these people are simply trying to avoid squashing slugs.

In July or August evenings, when the light lasts longer, you can spot slugs pretty easily when taking out some trash or checking on a sprinkler. You don’t have to hop and skip.

But now that dusk is coming earlier, dodging the last of the season’s slithering slimers can require more than fancy footwork. You almost need night-vision goggles.

OK, most people don’t fret about taking the lives of these alleged garden pests. The prevailing attitude might be summarized “They are bad news and we are well rid of them.”

But here’s the thing. If you step on one without knowing it, there is a good chance you will then track in slug puree.

You can take it from me, that is not how to win friends and influence people.

Discoveries of slug mush on the carpet or kitchen floor tend to threaten domestic tranquility.

So, a word to the wise: Watch your step.

And maybe start carrying a flashlight.

Summer in the rear-view mirror: “On a hot day I like to drive our convertible around with the top down and the air-conditioning on,” wrote Kevin Wolfe. “My wife finds that level of indulgence too decadent for her sensibilities.”

The waitress was great but the legislature forgot to bring dessert: It has crossed Gordon Budke’s mind that basing a tip on a total that includes sales tax could be viewed as involuntarily congratulating state government on a job well done. He wonders if he is the only one to have had that thought.

Slice answer: If Becky Moser had a foundation, she would like it to assist those who need help with dental and orthodontic care.

Today’s Slice question: Which kind of person are you?

When you go to Seattle, you always stay in the same hotel or inn.

When you go to Seattle, you stay in a different place every time.

When you go to Seattle, you always stay with friends or relatives.

You don’t go to Seattle.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. There was a baseball player in the 1920s named Urban Shocker.

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