April 1, 2014 in Features

The Slice: How will he stomach the future?

By The Spokesman-Review

One of my wife’s friends shared something her preschool-age son had said.

The little boy, George, announced at dinner recently that he had a stomachache in his “supper stomach.”

Oddly enough, his “dessert stomach” felt just fine.

Funny how that works.

We have one of George’s abstract paintings on display in our kitchen. But I have never actually met the kid. If that ever happens, there are a few questions I would like to ask him.

Do you envision a career in politics?

Have you ever had a stomachache in your dessert stomach?

Might a stomachache in one’s supper stomach possibly prevent one from cleaning his room?

When you are a little older, will a stomachache in your supper stomach prevent you from going to school on occasion?

If your mom ever caught you in a lie, should she punish you or back off because the stress of being held accountable might give you a stomachache in your supper stomach?

What does medical science understand about the whole supper stomach/dessert stomach divide?

When you are old enough to like girls, will contemplating their beguiling appeal give you a stomachache in your supper stomach?

If you grew up to have a boss who yelled at you, would that give you a stomachache in your dessert stomach or would you need more than ever to self-medicate with ice cream and cake?

When you are a teenager and some genius peers pressure you to drink 10 beers, will you have the foresight to realize that doing so is apt to upset your supper stomach?

What look will you give your mom when she tells your prom date about the night way back in 2014 when you declared that you had a stomachache in your supper stomach but your dessert stomach felt fine?

Histamines on parade: Are you so allergic to many of the things in the air at this time of year that your face sometimes looks like you went several rounds with Apollo Creed? Well, how about sending The Slice a selfie displaying your red, watery eyes?

Today’s Slice question: Remember what it was like on www.spokesman.com before all the commenters agreed to identify themselves by their real names?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Happy April Fools’ Day.

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