April 18, 2014 in Features

The Slice: You can only look past Heston’s hair for so long

By The Spokesman-Review
 
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

Maybe it’s just me.

But I think the first dozen times you see “Ben-Hur” are the best.

Let’s move on.

Job interview: If you plan to purchase a plush toy rabbit for a young child in the next couple of days, you might first want to quiz the applicant bunnies. Here are a few questions, just to help you get started.

• Where do you see yourself in five years?

• Are you familiar with “Calvin and Hobbes”?

• What would you do if you saw your kid coming at you with hands smeared with peanut butter and jelly?

• Can you hold your breath if, during nap time, you wind up pinned beneath the conked-out child in your charge?

• Ever heard about the legendary Bunny Rabbit from “Captain Kangaroo”?

• What are your social media skills?

• If asked to absorb tears, will you embrace this important responsibility?

• Will you expect to have Beatrix Potter’s birthday (July 28) off?

Adios: What word do you mutter when tapping the screen to unfollow someone on Twitter?

This date in Slice history (2003): “Three common mistakes of first-time Easter egg hunters: 1. Lack of focus. (Too much wild-eyed running around and yelling and not enough calm, detached reconnaissance.)

“2. Loss of poise. (Giving up and crying after 30 seconds.)

“3. Loss of consciousness. (Allowing your aunt to talk you into wearing an oven-like bunny suit on an unseasonably hot Sunday afternoon and subsequently passing out in a puddle of sweat.)”

Reader challenge: What traditions or activities would one associate with the Easter Marmot?

The vision thing: “Last week I stayed at the home of a young friend in Boise,” wrote Sandy Tarbox. “Hopped in the shower only to find I couldn’t read a single bottle. Had to experiment to find one that seemed to be soap.”

Warm-up question: What dead stop on a Spokane area hill poses the biggest challenge for drivers learning to operate a clutch?

Today’s Slice question: Where do you make your first bite when devouring a chocolate Easter bunny?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Carol Kettleson danced with her son to CCR’s “Green River” at his wedding reception last year.


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