May 1, 2014 in Features

The Slice: Just the spot to park baggage

By The Spokesman-Review
 

It’s my theory that Spokane-area residents who have a detached garage are not like other people.

Because the garage is away from the residence, things can be stored there that the homeowner would just as soon not think about. Or discuss. And because of this psychological distancing, objects with troubled back-stories can also be placed behind the garage.

Let’s move on.

OK, yes, I have a detached garage. Don’t ask.

Step up to the Mike: “I was at a birthday party for my niece and there were six adult males there – five of them were named Mike,” wrote Margie Dennis. “Can you beat that? The kids have resorted to giving them acronyms for names such as FUM (Fun Uncle Mike), MUM (Mean Uncle Mike) and FOHUM, which I won’t define to protect the innocent.”

I’m guessing that “Full of” is part of that last one.

Slice answer: “I sympathize with the lady who doesn’t appreciate being called Hon/Honey,” wrote Janet Lake. “I don’t either. But the one that really makes me grit my teeth is ‘Young lady.’ Could anything be more condescending?”

A lot of that going around: Beth Bornhoft has lived in several different parts of the country. And hearing people in Region A talk about Region B has convinced her of something. “I have come to believe that geographic ignorance is universal.”

What you would be willing to do to get someone to make you potato salad: “I would dance in a hog trough at your wedding,” wrote Bobbie McCoy. “That is a saying I heard many times from my grandmother when she was asking for a favor. The whole family picked up on it and it is how we remember her sense of humor.”

Slice answer: “I’m the IT manager for the library district,” wrote North Idaho’s Gina Emory. “A route from the parking lot to my office upstairs, that allows me to make it there without being confronted with some sort of crisis, complaint or whatever, is as elusive as Sasquatch. Occupational hazard.”

Today’s Slice question: When do you start gearing up to not do Bloomsday?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. President Richard Nixon flew here for Expo ’74 from Phoenix.


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