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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Let’s start with an airplane story.

“My first flight came in October of 1967, a month after I joined the Gonzaga University faculty,” wrote Bob Carriker. “I was 27 years old.”

The gentleman seated beside him could tell Carriker might be anxious. So that seatmate struck up a friendly conversation.

All was fine as the door closed, a flight attendant went through the safety spiel and the pilot positioned the aircraft.

“But then the engines began to roar and whine and suddenly the plane lurched forward at a high rate of speed. This was unexpected and I think my facial expression said exactly that.”

The guy in the next seat leaned over and spoke to Carriker again. “Your first time down the runway is like your first visit to a nudist camp — you never forget the first takeoff.”

Re: The new mug shot I’ll have taken next month: Here is a sampling of the feedback.

“How about if you create a gallery of your face photos and let us, the public decide? After all, we are the ones that have to look at you.” — Kyra Straub

“Getting older generally allows one to get pissed off more easily, so I would recommend the ‘Get off my lawn!’ expression.” — Nick Suksdorf

Martin Alcorn suggested that I have my picture taken by a wildlife photographer. “After all, you are the head marmot.”

“You could take a selfie in front of a different Spokane landmark every day.” — Margaret Powell

“Have an abstract oil portrait done by a local artist.” — Paul Campbell

Wayne Sanders said I ought to have my picture taken with a marmot. Not sure if he meant a lodge member or an actual animal.

Marilyn Othmer said I should be laughing.

Marcos DeLuna said I should get high before the photo session.

“When you have your photo taken think of someone you love and smile.” — Jeannie Maki

Marta Bunch said I should go with a picture of my neighbor’s cat.

Dave and Jane Swett think it would be fun if I wore a monocle.

And Paula Thomas said I should go back to the peering-eye Slice graphic from 1992.

Today’s Slice question: What’s the best way for someone who doesn’t care about the Super Bowl to take advantage of fewer people being out and about late Sunday afternoon?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. There was a band called Tet Offensive.

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