The Slice: Keeping tabs on co-workers

There’s no need for a show of hands.

But maybe you are one of these people.

You’re at work at the start of the day. And a co-worker arrives after you.

Do you automatically glance at the clock?

Perhaps you do. But does that necessarily mean you are an anal retentive twit who never evolved beyond the mindset of a tattletale classroom monitor? It does not.

There are a number of reasons you might see someone waltzing into the office a few minutes after you and feel moved to check the time. Here, I’ll count them for you.

1. It reminds you to see if there is a rift in the space-time continuum.

2. You are concerned that your colleague might be late because he or she is drunk or carrying on an affair and you want others in the office to note your furrowed-brow expression and come over to confide whatever salacious gossip they might have heard.

3. You still think it’s the 20th century and measure productivity in terms of on-site butt-in-chair time.

4. The thought occurs to you, “Good grief, if he’s here already I’m further behind than I thought.”

5. You enjoy marveling at your colleague’s to-the-minute consistency.

Getting off with a warning: Tomas K. Lynch got pulled over on I-90. He was driving his 1983 Volvo wagon.

The officer noted that Tomas had been holding steady at 81 mph. He asked if the car was equipped with cruise control.

“Cruise control?” said Tomas. “I don’t even have cup holders.”

The officer apparently got a kick out of that.

When people don’t believe you, even though you’re right: A number of years ago, Rick Straub was talking to a former member of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Rick recalled a game when Frank Howard, then with the Spokane Indians, hit a mammoth home run. The former Dodger curtly said Howard never played in Spokane.

“I always wanted to find an old roster and send it to him. Never did, wish I had.”

I’m convinced we all have a story or two like that. Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.

Finish this sentence…: If you never had a job that involved punching a clock, you …

Today’s Slice question: When some ongoing development at your workplace is being handled on a “need to know basis,” does that automatically leave you out of the loop?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. You might be getting old if 95 percent of the movies you have seen on the big screen were playing at theaters that no longer exist.