Unless you are a stickler for observing the June solstice, this weekend is the start of summer.
As such, it is unquestionably the best part of the season. That’s because it’s all still in front of us. And you know what they say about anticipation.
So today The Slice is going out on a limb and predicting a few highlights.
Feel free to choose the ones that might be applicable to you.
Your tomatoes will turn out so great that rival gardeners will accuse you and your plants of using performance-enhancing substances.
You will get off a miracle squirt-gun or water balloon shot so amazing that your family will talk about it for years.
No one will throw up on the car trip to South Dakota.
Everyone will demonstrate unprecedented emotional maturity during the family outing to Silverwood.
The tent and sleeping bags? When you haul them out, they will smell just fine.
Your homemade ice cream will seem to make people high.
Your “cooking out” scent will lead to interesting amorous advances.
At a concert, the lead singer will make eye contact with you and telepathically communicate “It’s an honor to have a fan like you.”
That old Chevrolet you have been meaning to restore for 10 years? This is the summer it finally happens.
Every time you start preparing a big salad, someone will put one of your favorite albums on the turntable and the time will fly by in a blissed-out reverie.
Countless people will praise your swimsuit and sunglasses.
You will realize you made the right decision about the boat.
For the first time, discerning melon ripeness will come easily.
A roadside produce stand will magically appear just when you need sweet corn.
Your mother-in-law will ask for advice about making iced tea.
You will heroically reach out and catch a line-drive foul ball just as it is about to bean some attractive but inattentive fan.
You will realize while mowing the lawn that you have lost weight.
You will discover that craft beer is the secret to confidence when it comes to dancing under the stars.
You will get a text from your granddaughter’s summer camp informing you that she reeled in the first great white shark found in local waters.
Today’s Slice question: What happened when you warned someone that he/she was going to get a sunburn?
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. What wildlife have you seen on your deck?
