The Slice: Of course, now that it’s illegal it will end immediately

When I moved to Spokane almost 30 years ago, this city took a certain pride in being a place where there was not a lot of gratuitous horn-honking out on the public thoroughfares.

But that has changed, and I think we all know why.

Yes, an alarming number of drivers pull up to a red light and start texting. Then, when the light turns green, they are still looking at their phones. Hence the honking from cars behind them.

Reefer madness: I don’t know that this encounter qualifies as unexpected. But the cab driver’s excuse is so stunningly lame, I had to share this email. It’s from Brenda Green.

“Several years ago we were in downtown Coeur d’Alene at a birthday party during the holiday season. While we were probably OK to drive, we decided to err on the safe side and get a cab home.

“The minute the door opened we could smell what the driver had been doing to pass the time between fares. He tried to tell us we were smelling his energy drink but my relentless husband finally badgered the truth out of him … like there was any doubt we were smelling pot.”

Yes, his energy drink. That’s what he said.

“We got home all right but I couldn’t help but think that I was likely more sober than our ‘Designated Driver.’ ”

While we’re on the subject: This is for those who acted like stupid kids when they were teens. It is not an endorsement of immature, irresponsible behavior. But here’s a question.

When coming home hammered in high school, did you ever use eucalyptus lozenges to try to mask the scent of alcohol on your breath? Did you seriously think that would fool anyone?

And in a related matter pertaining to mood-altering substances, if energy drinks had existed, would it ever have occurred to you to tell your parents or long-suffering guardians that’s what they were smelling as you stumbled in through the back door enveloped in a cannabis cloud?

Warm-up question: If, instead of “Apes,” it had been “Planet of the Marmots,” how would that have changed some of the iconic lines of dialog from that film franchise?

Today’s Slice question: For what cultural attraction or aspect of life in certain other parts of the country would you be willing to trade our survivable humidity or tolerable nighttime insect infestation?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Is it appropriate to regard yourself as a man who thinks for himself if a girl in the fourth grade made fun of your white socks and you have never worn them since?