The Slice

MONDAY, APRIL 2, 2012, 12:58 P.M.

What’s your perspective on Easter?

A) I view it as a religious occasion, of course.

B) It's a chance to go to church and see if there is anything around here that can get people to dress up. 

C) I think it has something to do with pagan rites of spring.

D) Chocolate bunnies, et cetera.

E) It is a ham-based holiday.

F) It's when nitwits give live baby animals to small children as if these gifts are toys.

G) Isn't that when the Mariners are usually mathematically eliminated?

H) I know it is sponsored by Legoland. 

I) Other.

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