Cheap Seats

Take me out of the Kingdome

New ballparks in Baltimore, Cleveland and Arlington have been the pride of baseball in recent years, standing in stark contrast to some of the major leagues’ more vilified parks.

Jeffrey Flanagan fired away in the Kansas City Star, with the Kingdome leading the list as “perhaps the gloomiest, coldest place on earth. Nuke it, now.”

Rickey don’t lose that number

It remains to be seen how much the San Francisco 49ers will miss Ricky Watters, who left the Bay Area for a three-year, $6.9 million deal in Philly.

But less than a month after Watters’ departure, one thing appears certain - the smacktalking running back won’t be missed in the Niners’ locker room.

How popular was No. 32? So popular that his defection inspired former teammates to stick a piece of white athletic tape above his old locker, with “Me, Myself and I 32” written in bold face.

Even their mascot chokes

A lawyer for the University of Arkansas said Devin Elliott, the costumed Arizona mascot known as “Wilbur Wildcat,” has no case against the school because his fight with the Razorbacks’ costumed hog was planned.

Elliott asked the Arkansas Claims Commission for $100,000 as compensation for injuries suffered when Arkansas’ mascot tackled him during last year’s Final Four in Charlotte, N.C.

His complaint says he required knee surgery and seeks $100,000 for medical expenses, lost income and “physical and emotional suffering.”

If Wilbur Wildcat gets paid for emotional suffering, just think what Arizona’s fans have coming.

Just the fax, ma’am

With John Wade out as Eastern Washington hoops coach, the university is instructing applicants to send resumes via fax.

But an anonymous staffer had incorrectly loaded paper in the athletic department fax machine Thursday. When the error was discovered Saturday, the machine spit out 25 pages - all blank.

Wade’s hoping the same thing happens at Cal State-Hayward.

Friends in high places

Larry Tharpe suited up for just 16 games in his three years as an NFL lineman, so it was no surprise when the Lions didn’t match an offer tendered by the Cardinals.

What came as a surprise was the offer itself - a one-year deal worth $1 million. The punch line? Tharpe’s agent is Jim Ryan, son of Cardinals coach Buddy Ryan.

The last word …

“I’m going to retire and play professional basketball.”

- Cal Ripken Jr., opening a recent news conference amid hype over pursuit of Lou Gehrig’s consecutive-games streak