Cheap Seats
His will be done
Let it be told: God is a cricket fan.
Players and spectators in Lytham St. Anne’s, England, were taken aback at a match between Lancashire and Sussex when the voice of God - or at least the Rev. Leslie Smethurst - came over the public address system. Unknown to the priest at St. Cuthbert’s church, the signal from the wireless mike underneath his cassock was being heard next door.
“We heard the words ‘rest in peace’ and I thought they were laying Sussex to rest,” said Lancashire’s Michael Atherton.
In America, we settle for hoisting a “John 3:16” banner.
Where’s Ace Ventura when you need him?
They couldn’t fight the NCAA, but at least the University of Washington Huskies eluded the dogcatcher.
Missing for two days, King Redoubt - UW’s Alaskan Malamute mascot - was found last week in the Juanita area of Kirkland, two blocks from home.
The dog had wandered into the yard of Lindsey Harlow, who “had no clue who he was.
“I was out walking him when a reporter asked me if he was mine. I said, ‘No, he’s lost.’ That’s when I found out everybody was looking for him.”
As a reward, Harlow - who’s never seen a UW game will receive four tickets to the Notre Dame game Oct. 7.
What do you suppose the reward is in South Bend if an Irishman wanders into your yard?
Actually, it’s the NHL best-seller list
NHL free agent Kelly Chase on New York Ranger Joey Kocur’s favorite books: “One was a coloring book that Joey hadn’t finished. The other was the shortest book ever written: The list of the big goals scored by (former Los Angeles Kings coach) Barry Melrose.”
Meathead
Leave it to boxing to take trash talking to a new low.
WBC heavyweight champ Oliver McCall is backtracking furiously from comments he made about seeking revenge on Frank Bruno for the brain damage his friend, Gerald McClellan, suffered at the hands of Briton Nigel Benn last February.
“Unfortunately, Gerald is blind - a vegetable,” McCall said at a press conference for his Sept. 2 fight. “Bruno will have to pay. I will … try to do what (Benn) did to my friend.”
Now McCall claims he “didn’t say nothing about wanting to make Frank a vegetable.”
Bruno called the controversy, “hype.”
No! Really?
Why? Because we can beat you
The significance of Disney’s purchase of pro teams and TV networks hasn’t escaped University of Minnesota football coach Jim Wacker, who reasons - if you can call it that - “If we had Mickey Mouse at quarterback, we’d get a lot more national TV coverage.”
By playing Ball State and Arkansas State, the Gophers will settle for having a Mickey Mouse schedule.
The last word …
“The winds were so strong, they actually knocked a player on the University of Miami football team into a classroom.”
- Jay Leno, on hurricanes in Florida
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo