Adults Produce Today’s Troubled And Troubling Young

Youth crime, including murder and other violent acts, is rising at an alarming rate.

School dropout rates have increased as national test scores drop.

Teens are more sexually active, and at younger ages. Both their pregnancy and AIDS rates climb.

Adults worry about the “youth problem,” but what there is now is an “adult problem.”

I have read that one of the main reasons a teenager joins a gang is to feel he or she belongs.

Some teenage mothers say they had a baby because the baby would love them unconditionally and would need them.

I am confused as to why one teenager has a child or another joins a gang to feel loved and needed.

When I was growing up, no matter what was happening in my family, whether my parents were angry, busy or happy, I always knew they loved me. Even with our sibling rivalry, I knew my brothers and sisters loved me as I loved them. I know every day of my life that if I need them they will be there for me.

I understand wanting to be part of a group of friends who support each other, but I have trouble understanding why children who have families must go outside of them to feel they belong. Where are the adults who are supposed to fill this need?

I was reading one night with the television set on in the background. I suddenly realized what was being said. The male character on a prime-time sitcom was explaining to his female co-worker that when a woman fakes an orgasm, her partner will continue to do that same action whenever they go to bed together. I was shocked - and I do not consider myself prudish.

TV now shows unmarried men and women in bed together almost regularly. TV shows single women waiting anxiously for the results of a pregnancy test. The word “bitch” is used freely in some sitcoms.

The television industry is run by adults who fight for the largest viewing audience and the greatest advertising revenues. These adults worry about dollars, not the influence TV has on young minds.

News tabloids such as “Hard Copy” flash scenes of scantily dressed women in provocative poses to entice viewers to watch. Their stories include gossip about celebrities, not in-depth news coverage. The programs air during prime time, but flashes of their stories may appear at anytime as advertisements stating, “Tonight on … “

MTV displays scantily dressed young women dancing and romancing fully dressed male singers. The dances resemble those once done almost exclusively by strippers. MTV controls the music video industry. Videos that do not follow its rules and formulas are not aired. Again, adults are in charge, and high ratings lead to more money.

Adults are concerned about youth using drugs. There are the DARE, Just Say No and other programs, and special announcements on TV (“This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.”). These are all aimed at stopping teenagers from using drugs. At the same time, beer commercials show handsome, swinging men with gorgeous women on their arms. Sitcoms such as “Dave’s World” show adults drinking beer at their weekly card game. TV shows people in bars or offering a drink to someone who has had a rough day. Fortyish couples find a bong and reminisce about it, then scramble to think of another name when a child asks what it is.

These scenes are supposed to be funny. Yet young viewers may read the message as saying it is all right to use drugs and alcohol.

TV shows and commercials are not the only media that say drugs and alcohol are all right.

You can buy pills or a cherry-flavored liquid for almost anything. You no longer have to stay home from work with a bad cold. There are pills that will get you through the day.

You can eat food your stomach says you shouldn’t eat by taking a pill first. And if you eat too much, no problem, just “plop, plop, fizz, fizz.” Adults’ medicine cabinets are full of feel-good drugs. There are pills for headaches, stomach aches, body aches, water retention. Pills to help you sleep and pills to help you to stay awake.

Still, adults with pills in hand say they are concerned about teen drug use.

Attention Deficit Disorder is treated with a drug called Ritalin. While a few children may actually have ADD, do some get the drug because parents and teachers are unwilling to deal with an active child?

Parents rush children into doctors’ offices for medicine for colds, runny noses and coughs. The parents want antibiotics to make the child well quickly so the parents can sleep through the night.

The most frightening statement I have heard youths make is that they do not believe they will live to be adults.

As a child I daydreamed of many futures - of love, marriage and children. I dreamed of college and various professions. I dreamed of travel. I never questioned that I would grow up and live as an adult. When did the dream of a future disappear for today’s youth?

A damaging effect of the discussions and press coverage of the “youth problem” is that youths internalize what they hear. They believe what adults say to them. They hear that they are a problem and then become a problem.

Adults, pleased that they have made the correct prediction, continue to produce more problem youths to prove themselves right again.

The other day I was working at the computer when Fuzzy, one of my cats, jumped onto my lap. When I tossed him off he jumped back and rubbed against me. This happened a few times before I stopped working and gave him my full attention for 15 minutes.

Sometimes dinner may have to be a little later. Sometimes you may have to put down the newspaper to learn about “Yurtle the Turtle” or how “Hortan Hears a Who.” You may have to pass up that overtime pay because a child is waiting excitedly at home to tell you about that day at school. You may even have to pass up a promotion because it would mean putting in two more hours a day at work and you will miss all the soccer games your child is playing.

Your children may have to share a bicycle or go without designer jeans. Your house may have used furniture and one TV.

My mother taught me that it doesn’t matter what kind of house you have as long as it is filled with love. Our youth need to be loved and to know they are loved.

Our youth have a problem. They have a problem with being left to raise themselves. They have a problem with being given responsibilities that are too big for their age. They have a problem with parents who use and abuse drugs and alcohol. They have a problem with a society that can find money to build new sports stadiums but not to supply schools. They have a problem with school bonds that fail during every election. They have a problem with parents who put more time and energy into their careers and social lives than into their children. They have a problem with adults who are too busy, too ambitious, too tired, too uncaring, too unconcerned or too selfish to show they care.

We need to find a solution to the adult problem so we can give the youth back the feeling and knowledge that they are loved and valued, that they belong. We need to give them back the dream that they can live a full, rich life.

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