To Say Nothing Of Shemp
The Kansas City Star conducted a poll asking for possible nicknames for Kansas’ basketball front line of Greg Ostertag, Raef LaFrentz and Scot Pollard.
While some of the more than 1,000 respondents took the easy way out, opting for the likes of “Jayhawk Towers,” fans of opposing teams came up with a few more interesting titles. The best of the printable had to be, “Larry, Curly and Slow.”
Bowie hurt? Sign Kurt
Injury-prone Lakers center Sam Bowie saw Kurt Rambis running stairs in the L.A. Forum two weeks ago and joked, “You’re just waiting for one of the big guys to go down.”
Within a week, Bowie was out for up to a month with a finger injury, prompting the Lakers to sign none other than Rambis to a 10-day contract.
“I signed a 15-year deal with a 14-year option,” Rambis cracked. “The only problem is, I get a buck and a half a year and that’s deferred over the 14 years. I’m such a shrewd negotiator.”
The former longtime Laker, who wore No. 31 during the team’s glory years, wears No. 18 this time around. His old number was taken - by Bowie.
“The 31 that I used to wear was taken,” Rambis said. “The 30 that I wore last year was taken. Then I wanted 3 because I have three kids, but that didn’t work out. So I took the combined ages of my kids - 9, 7 and 2.”
When Rambis traveled with the Lakers to Phoenix - another of his former teams - it caught one of the Suns’ beat writers by surprise.
“See what happens if you don’t read the paper in the morning?” Rambis said. “O.J. could have been found guilty and the Lakers could have signed me to a 10-day contract.”
Under the influence
With 1.6 seconds to play in the Portland-New Jersey NBA game last week, the Nets were ahead 99-97. With Rod Strickland of Portland at the foul line with a chance to tie, New Jersey’s Derrick Coleman came over to provide a little inspiration.
“Me and Rod hang out in the summertime back in Jersey,” Coleman said. “I told him, `I’ll bet you a shot of Jack Daniel’s and a Heineken you don’t make them.”’
Strickland swished the first, then bricked the second, giving the Nets the win. “I guess I’ll catch him this summer when he’s back in Jersey,” Coleman said.
Now THAT’S bad
How bad was San Diego last baseball season? San Jose Mercury News columnist Bud Geracie has an idea: “If they use replacement players, the Padres would be justified in raising ticket prices from last season.”
The last word …
“This is the only team I ever played on that I could dribble better than both of the guards.”
- Charles Barkley, on the West All-Stars’ starting backcourt of Latrell Sprewell and Dan Majerle