Women, Dance Away From Altar Of Perfection

A friend of mine who is pleasantly plump jokingly told me she knew how to shut down the exotic dance halls. She said if we danced, the men would be shouting: “Put it on. Put it on!”

We have not only learned to cover our larger bodies in nondescript wrappings, but also our feelings about our weight. I should know. Having overflowed the ideal image of cultural beauty for what seems like forever, I am rather battle-scarred in this war against women (and men) who don’t squeeze into the current fashions of beauty.

At age 14, after losing 30 pounds, I still went stag to my freshman dance, developed my first ulcer, and began my battle with bulimia. Twenty-three years later, after losing the same 30 pounds for the 100th time, I developed colon cancer. I still battle my weight.

Many times my resume has landed me a job interview, only to be told “You are not quite what we’re looking for.” One time a new colleague blurted out, “You didn’t sound fat over the phone!” And just how does fat sound?

Socialized within our culture to believe that women of commanding size represent hungry and desperate women with no control, we believe that there is something “wrong” with us. Not only is our self-worth sacrificed on the altar of perfection, but our lives as well.

My oldest daughter has an eating disorder; my other daughter could care less what she weighs. Years of yo-yo dieting has taken a terrible toll on my health. Yet, we continue to support a gigantic diet industry. You cannot pick up a magazine without seeing at least one article on dieting or exercising. We are shown that body size must be in the current fashion or we cannot be healthy, happy or sexually pleasing. Yet, a woman with a healthy self-image, who believes in herself, often attracts the attention of others. A strong sense of self-worth is indeed a heady perfume.

Isn’t it time to shed the restrictive cocoon wrappings of society’s negative “should bes” and free the Butterfly Woman within us all?

Yes, I think it is time to dance and celebrate life with all of its diverse and wonderful shapes of beauty. I’m not ready to be an exotic dancer (yet), but don’t faint when you see me belly dancing.

MEMO: Your Turn is a feature of the Wednesday and Saturday Opinion page. To submit a column for consideration, call Rebecca Nappi/459-5496, or Doug Floyd/459-5466.