Persistent Boy Shows Wisdom Beyond His Years
After a Presidents Day play, instructor Terry Ludiker fielded questions from his Seltice Way Elementary School audience. Up shot the hand of a third-grader. Why do people kill presidents? he asked. Responded Terry: Presidents make unpopular decisions which make people angry. But, continued the persistent boy, doesn’t the next president just make the same decisions? Which is a child’s way of saying: Why do they all sound alike once they take office? The kid belongs on talk radio.
Still wondering: Another tyke asked Terry the question that has haunted baby boomers for three decades: “Why didn’t President Kennedy use bulletproof glass on his car?” … Clarence “Cip” Paulsen, cocaine ringleader of Spokane’s “Operation Doughboy,” didn’t squander all his drug money on high living. A little went to the Panida Theater in Sandpoint, which sells tiles and bricks to raise money. There’s a tile with Paulsen’s name on it hanging inside the Panida. … An unhappy Hayden resident thinks he knows how his community spells snow removal: S-U-M-M-E-R.
Dinosaur sighting: A young Boise engineer who drives a Japanese sports car was perturbed when he saw a new 60ish neighbor pilot a massive Cadillac into their upscale apartment complex’s parking area. Our friend of a friend took an instant dislike to the gas-guzzling dinosaur - the car, that is. However, because he doesn’t have a TV set, it took him awhile to discover that the short, white-haired man behind the wheel is more than a neighbor. He also is Idaho Gov. Phil Batt.
Behind every good man … A sign behind the counter at Hayden City Hall: “Do you want the man in charge or the woman who knows what’s going on?” Swap “man” and “woman” in that sentence, and you’d have feminists up in arms. Good thing us guys have a sense of humor. … We’re sensitive, too. Ask the clerk in a Coeur d’Alene card store who was amused by all the panicky male shoppers on Valentine’s Day. She said so to a customer - only to be cut off abruptly by a burly man nearby: “Hey,” he said, “I could shop somewhere else.” Touchy, touchy. … The two previous Hucks bring to mind this bumper-snicker: “Driver carries no cash. He’s married.” And all of us hubbies said, “Amen.” Onward.
Fan mail: Susan Bates-Harbuck of Sandpoint didn’t like the “Parting Shot” line last week, “Ve veel not let you stay, Fraulein.” She said it perpetuates the stereotype used by World War I propagandists depicting Germans as “the evil, barbaric hun.” A week ago Sunday, she had told her daughter that such propaganda still exists, and then, voila, Monday’s paper arrived. Writes Bates-Harbuck: “Your prejudiced stereotyping was not admirable, but it certainly was timely.” … Another subscriber (make that ex-subscriber), Addy Andrews of Coeur d’Alene, followed through on her threat to quit the paper if I ever referred again to President Clinton as “Slick Willie.” Fumed Andrews about me to our circulation desk: “I don’t like him.”
Huckleberries: PFPD Blue has busted a few dog owners this past year for violating the Post Falls pooper-scooper law. But it’ll never catch Pat Raffee, executive for Concerned Businesses of North Idaho. She takes Fido on walks, armed with plastic gloves to clean up the dirty deeds. Attagirl. … State Rep. Ron Crane, R-Caldwell, affectionately refers to cantankerous Bonner County Democrat Jim Stoicheff as “our North Idaho guerrilla fighter.” … All George Strait’s exes live in Texas, but some California exes live in North Idaho - such as the gal driving this vanity license plate around: “XCALGAL.”
Parting shot: Don Clower, president of the Idaho Wildlife Council, doesn’t want Idahoans using initiatives to control wildlife and natural resources. So, he supports the proposed Hunters’ Rights Amendment. Said he: “This is not a law; it’s an (constitutional) amendment. If it passes, it goes into a drawer somewhere.” Huh? This guy must have skipped civics.
xxxx
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review