More Conflicts Off Playing Field Than On It

The wonderful world of major-league labor - and management - will give us hockey in July, if the Stanley Cup goes seven games, but probably no reasonable facsimile of baseball.

One self-destructive sport’s poison, it seems, is another sport’s purpose.

For instance, barrel-waisted slowpitch heroes are jamming the switchboards at Selig Central, pleading for their 15 minutes of fame in baseball’s Year of the Scab.

The National Hockey League, however, has eschewed the concept of replacement players. Instead, it will try a replacement season - 48 games plus playoffs, or hardly enough between-periods shows for Don Cherry to impugn anyone’s ethnic origin. Now the Dale Hunters of the world may decapitate at will, knowing there’s no way the commish will hand out suspensions as piddly as 10 games’ duration if that means 20 percent of the season.

But give the hockey hierarchy this - it caved on a salary cap. The Zords of Baseball never will because, well, they’re going broke. And to prove it, they gave Jeff Bagwell $27.5 million between negotiating impasses.

Say what you will, these are not copycat suicides.

It is redundant to revile the tag-team folly of players and owners in hockey and baseball, particularly when the other two big leagues are actually playing games. National Football League rank and file, of course, have no choice. Their own dues continue to pay the salary of Gene Upshaw, who has personally set labor activism back 100 years.

And then there is the National Basketball Association, which was widely lauded for its enlightened approach - compromise, with a capital PR in the middle - in avoiding a play-stoppage last fall.

Hmm. Let’s take a look at the NBA’s age of enlightenment:

The New Jersey Nets fly in to Detroit - the hometown of their star, Derrick Coleman, who is picked up at the airport by friends in a limousine. The following morning, he calls to say he’s having car trouble and won’t make practice. It must be hell finding a limousine repairman in the NBA.

Coleman and other Nets openly defy coach Butch Beard, but there are no suspensions because - quoting general manager Willis Reed here - “Say we end up losing a game when a player is suspended and then we miss the playoffs by one game. Then what is everyone going to say?” Easy, Willis. “Lottery, here we come!”

Kendall Gill, the recalcitrant Sonic, is allowed to stay over an extra day in Chicago on a road trip provided he return to Seattle in time for practice the following day. Then he misses his plane and practice and is benched - and because he wasn’t inserted into the next game until just 1:52 left before halftime, his agent, Arn Tellem, complains that coach George Karl is “singling him out way more than any other player.” Like, say, Vincent Askew, whom Karl suspends for one game for refusing to enter a game against Philadelphia.

Nick Van Exel of the Lakers gives it the Askew treatment in a blowout loss to Portland, getting into a halftime row with coach Del Harris, who dumps over a table and throws water. The next night, Van Exel burns Phoenix for 35 points. “I thought they should have suspended him,” says Suns coach Paul Westphal.

Scottie Pippen delivers an ultimatum - “Trade Krause or me” - after Bulls general manager Jerry Krause summons security guards to escort Pippen’s agent out of a restricted area near the Bulls’ locker room.

Bullets guard Scott Skiles - Scott Skiles! - asks out of a game after yelling at teammate Juwan Howard and complaining that the team is being turned over to Chris Webber.

And, finally, John Lucas checks his team into a Days Inn at the Philadelphia airport.

How dare he? The NBA is a Sheraton and Hyatt league, with a suite for each player. But coming off of an 18-day West Coast road trip, Luke bunks his players two-to-aroom at a discount motel with no room service to prepare for a home game against the Bulls. So the Sixers lose 115-77 and several players call it the worst experience of their lives.

It’s enough to make a guy go on strike, wouldn’t you say?

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = John Blanchette The Spokesman-Review