X-Cops, Brutal Juice Coming To Big Dipper

There’s a new law in town.

Come Monday, Spokane will no longer be in the hands of the local law enforcement agencies. Instead the Lilac City will be in the tight grip of the X-Cops - the most feared band of law-enforcers in the country. But it’s music these cops make.

The felonious officers will initiate their reign of terror on the stage of the Big Dipper Monday night with their close compatriots Brutal Juice.

Here, all concert-goers will be subjected to a brutal beating by amphetamine-charged music, billy clubs and various firearms (no, they’re not real guns).

The X-Cops first gave Spokane a taste of their corrupt, terrorist activities last year as the opening band for Gwar at the Convention Center. (Actually, the band really is Gwar dressed in police garb instead of silly alien costumes. But, don’t tell anyone I told you that.)

The band has published its first guide via CD and cassette which will lead law enforcement into the 21st century. Entitled “The Right to Remain Silent,” it’s destined to become the manual employed by all law enforcement agencies and police departments throughout the country.

Support act Brutal Juice (you’ve never tasted music this scary) serves as the X-Cops’ stun gun.

With a debut album called “Mutilation Makes Identification Difficult,” Brutal Juice can also be the coroner for the X-Cops.

Snaut opens.

Music starts at 9:30 p.m. The cover is $6. You must be 21.