Cheap Seats

For the glove of the game

Philadelphia Phillies manager Jim Fregosi was in the dugout, autographing everything fans were tossing to him. The things that fell at his feet, Fregosi threw into the stands. That’s how he mistakenly threw Dave Gallagher’s glove into the stands.

“That was my gamer for five years,” Gallagher huffed. “It was pretty raggedy. I can see how he made the mistake.”

With friends like these …

… who needs Jack Morris? Nobody, it appears. At least not Minnesota bullpen coach Rick Stelmaszek or manager Tom Kelly, who should remember it was Morris who pitched the Twins to the 1991 world title.

When Morris retired last week, Stelmaszek was first to do the dishonors. “He was a miserable SOB, but he was a bulldog,” Stelmaszek said. “I know at the time he was going through a terrible divorce. And by August, I was siding with his wife.”

Twins manager Tom Kelly was equally sentimental. “If he does need to retire,” Kelly offered, “I’m glad he’ll go out without getting his head beat in or anything like that.”

That may be more than some replacement players can say, considering the blacklist passed out by the “union” at the behest of players boss Donald Fehr. It’s a list that has Montreal manager Felip Alou more than a little irked.

“I want them to put my name on the list,” Alou challenged, “and because my last name starts with A, I want to be right at the top. I was part of replacement baseball and it doesn’t bother me.”

Then Alou turned reflective. “But is the Players’ Association going to make up a list of guys who’ve been on drugs or guys caught with prostitutes?” he wondered. “I wouldn’t want my name on those lists. Which list are they going to put Darryl Strawberry’s name on?”

Or, more appropriately, what list will they leave Darryl Strawberry OFF?

Glenn Robinson ain’t the only Big Dog

Despite averaging 18 points and 11 boards, Kevin Willis didn’t make many friends in Miami after the Heat acquired the power forward from the Atlanta Hawks.

Willis quarreled with coaches Kevin Loughery and Alvin Gentry, and was booed during introductions before the final game. To cap it off, a radio reporter later asked Willis why he had “played like a dog.”

Rumor service

Roberto Duran insists there’s no truth to the story that he will retire in June, blaming an opportunistic promoter for the report. The 44-year-old fighter said it was a gimmick to try and attract a bigger crowd for Duran’s upcoming fight with Buddy McGirt. When Duran heard of the retirement story, he quickly demanded his purse be increased from $200,000 to $300,000.

Saddled with a tough decision

Ericka Sparks, after winning several honors in a Southern California high school equestrian league, is selling her horse because she is going away to college.

“It was a tough decision to make, but it was the right one for both of us,” Sparks told a reporter.

Meaning they talked it over, right?

The last word …

“Michael can’t do it by himself.”

- Alonzo Mourning, before Jordan scored 48 points to singlehandedly lift Chicago past his Hornets in Game 1.