The Hot Seat Our Weekly Look At People In The News

He’s no Rin Tin Tin

Here, Spike. Come here, boy. And sit on The Hot Seat. Spike is the 105-pound police dog that went to do his doggy doo-doo but ended up trying to eat a skinny guy who was smoking a cigarette. Jerry Hurtt was sitting on a bucket, enjoying a smoke when Spike attacked him. Hurtt didn’t know he was intruding on the police dog bathroom we all know as Playfair Race Course. Chief Terry Mangan said the department is reviewing the case and there appears to be no violation of department policy. This must be one of those procedural questions about how police dogs properly interact with skinny guys who smoke and not a matter of proper conduct for police dogs around strangers. Case closed.

Rep. Steve Stockman should have been forced to help dig for bodies

Republicanoid Steve Stockman says the Branch Davidian disaster was a Clinton administration conspiracy to pass anti-gun legislation. It was Stockman’s office that received an anonymous fax about the Oklahoma City explosion within an hour after the blast. Stockman says the controversy has been the highlight of his young House career. “I mean, come on. I made the front page of The London Times,” he said. “I mean, in terms of my lifetime, I don’t know if I’ll ever get any bigger than that.” … We can only hope.

House Democrats need some hair of the dog

After watching her Cincinnati Reds lose eight of their first nine games, owner Marge Schott walked onto the field during batting practice with a sandwich bag full of hair from her dead dog Schottzie. Schott rubbed the dog hair on her players’ chests and legs. The Reds went on a tear and won four straight games. House Democrats take note. We have bags of unwashed, greasy Gingrich hair available for a modest price. Call today.

MEMO: The Hot Seat is a feature of the Sunday Opinion page. If you would like to nominate someone for the Hot Seat, call Scott Sines at 459-5405.