Cheap Seats

Did you get the license number…

…of that whitetail? Peter Ianacone didn’t. A freshman on the cross country team at Loyola College in Baltimore, Ianacone was run over by a deer and knocked unconscious during a recent meet - and now the gags won’t stop, even from his mother.

“Now that you’ve gotten run over by a deer, does that mean you’re going to join the Elks Club?” asked Joan Ianacone, according to Mike Preston of The Baltimore Sun.

And certainly his teammates must be calling him “Bambi” by now.

Hogshead revisited

Hayden Fry is tough on crime. The throwing of objects from the stands at Kinnick Stadium has reached epidemic proportions, and Iowa’s football coach has the solution.

“Lock ‘em up,” he said. “The police need to come down on ‘em. Lock their tail up.”

Fans reached a new low during the Hawkeyes’ game against Penn State when they tossed a hog’s head, a full whiskey bottle and full cans of beer. The beer struck Iowa assistant coach Milan Vooletich.

Fry said such behavior is not only dangerous, “it hurts our image.”

“It’s national TV or regional TV, and it’s going across to people who’ve never been to Iowa in their life, and they get the image that we’re all a bunch of clucks.”

Phillip Jones, Iowa’s dean of students, is just as upset, though he senses a certain amount of debris is inevitable.

“I am most concerned about how the stuff got in the stadium in the first place,” he said. “It isn’t so much catching the person, it’s keeping the stuff out.”

But Fry isn’t so sure.

“They’re our students, primarily. We have to put our foot down,” he said. “We’ve got ‘no drinking’ rules or ‘no smoking’ in certain places. Why can’t we stop people from being idiots?” Because you can’t have an enrollment of zero, Hayden.

Rawhide

The story goes that Jeff King, the Pittsburgh Pirates third baseman, is getting into the cattle business. He’s leasing more than 2,000 acres of grazing land in southwestern Montana.

Believe this or not: his brand is “E-5.”

Hearsay, heresy, what’s the difference?

According to reports around South Bend, Notre Dame coach Lou Holtz motivated his team before it thrashed USC by claiming Trojan receiver Keyshawn Johnson had belittled the Irish program.

Quarterback Ron Powlus said that Johnson questioned Notre Dame’s lucrative television contract with NBC, saying that Notre Dame hadn’t shown much recently to deserve it. Powlus said that Holtz told him about the comment.

Johnson maintains he never said it.

“I think, if (Holtz) is going to single out a person, I think he owes me an apology,” Johnson said. “Hey, whatever. It’s not a big deal. I don’t care what Ron Powlus says. Everybody said he was going to win five Heismans.”

The last word …

“Had we been able to generate some points, it would have been a lot closer.”

- Missouri football coach Larry Smith, after a 30-0 loss to Kansas State

, DataTimes