Face It: Some Complaints Are Trivial

“Nice to have met you,” I said upon leaving Bernice Harris.

“Nice to have met you, swee …”

Bernice stopped, worry flooding her face.

She had almost said “sweetie.”

Question: If the offender halts before completing the pronouncement of a demeaning term which relegates me to the status of sexual kitten, have I been fully harassed? Or only partially? Or is this a no-call situation?

These were uncharted waters. I needed to consult Capitol Hill. Up there, they seem to know the appropriate way to pump up a ridiculous issue into global seriousness.

They certainly straightened out Bernice.

Bernice Harris, 58, works the cash register in the cafeteria of the Senate’s Russell Office Building - and she has done so for nearly 31 years.

She is not an expert on sexual harassment. She might not be alone.

To Bernice, a short stack of talkative energy, you’re not just a customer. You’re her “baby,” her “sugar,” her “sweetie” or her “honey,” as if she were your mom.

Her friend, Pamela Shaw, says Southern folks tend toward such addenda of affection. As the spouse of a Southern folk, I believe this to be accurate - and bless your heart, my little sugar.

Bernice has gotten a lot of good wishes ever since March 18.

That’s the day she got a note from Christopher W. Held, a part-time employee of Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky. The note was marked “confidential” and the subject was “SEXUAL HARASSMENT.” Bernice had called him “baby,” Held charged. He found this “real bothersome” and suggested that “you be careful with the term.”

Or else, I suppose.

We can dismiss this indictment as the indignation of a very young, overly earnest creature who will learn someday that life has more speeds than zero and warp.

Sexually harassed by a 58-year-old great-grandmother? Well, coo-coo-ca-choo.

Bernice showed the silly little note to her bosses.

The Senate cafeterias fall under the jurisdiction of the architect of the Capitol, and administrative assistant Ben Wimberly said the other day that Bernice’s supervisors had asked her if she thought she could refrain from using the term “baby.” She replied that she probably couldn’t.

Wimberly said her bosses then thought, “We certainly don’t want this guy going cosmic on this, maybe suing us, so why don’t we move Bernice to another cafeteria?”

In other words, why don’t we take this as an actual issue rather than an obvious farce?

A sane response, of course, would have been for someone to have gone to the aggrieved party and said that although we understand your concern and we respect your point of view and we are the world, you are terminally sensitive.

But “you can’t do that,” Wimberly said. “How would you feel if you felt strongly about how you were spoken to and we just kissed it off?”

How would you feel if you were dispatched to Siberia for illegal use of endearment?

Harriett Jenkins, director of the office of Senate Fair Employment Practices, which was not involved in this dispute, said sexual harassment is “behavior that is intended to communicate some sort of sexual interest in someone” - a look, a touch, a joke, a wink, a gesture.

It’s a very troublesome problem that certainly should be rooted out wherever found.

However - and I’m only guessing here because I didn’t witness the incident - I don’t think Bernice Harris was sexually pursuing Chris Held when she called him “baby.” If she was, then she’s been after everybody who’s come downstairs for coffee or a sandwich since the Johnson administration.

Wimberly says he thinks my criticism is unfair:

“We tell (supervisors) to be sensitive and take complaints seriously, and when they do, this is what happens.”

But not every person who makes a harangue at a public hearing or writes an angry letter or files a formal objection has a good point. Some people deserve to be told promptly to sit down, go away or forget it.

Politely, of course.

Instead, everybody gets an airing. Everybody’s legitimate. Nobody’s out of line.

And we get cases like this.

Bernice refused to go to her new assignment. But then Wimberly heard about her case and ordered her back to her old post because “quite simply, I know the lady. She’s called me ‘baby’ and ‘honey cakes’ for 18 years. … I view it as a matter of etiquette, not sexual harassment.”

Bernice isn’t mad at Held. “I shook his hand and apologized to him,” she said.

She’s not too happy with her bosses, though, for coming after her because of one complaint from one person.

And even though the entire world has rallied to her side, she’s so leery of the climate that she’s trying very hard not to call anybody anything sweet.

“Have you slipped?” I asked her.

“Yup. Yup. Sure have. It’s hard after 31 years.”

Baby, you can call me “sweetie” any day.

xxxx