It Wouldn’t Be Summer Without Lollapalooza

Ah, the familiar rites of summer, barbecues, camp-outs, swimming in lakes with more bacteria than a high school cafeteria, climbing up tall buildings and throwing water balloons at the street below and countless other wholesome activities too numerous to be listed here.

One of the more important ones to myself and 36,000 other “music oriented” teens is to pile into a car and drive three hours to listen to loud music, have fun and pass out from sunstroke. Yeah, I’m talking about Lollapalooza, the annual touring music festival which pulled into the Gorge on July 30.

Yes sir, for me and countless others, truckin’ out to see Lollapalooza is a big summertime event. But for those of you who just couldn’t quite make it (perhaps unwilling to shell out an exorbitant $42.50 for a ticket), this handy little article will enlighten and inform, so you too can take part in what Rush Limbaugh calls “the Lollapalooza mystique.”

I’m sure you’ve all read other critics’ reviews of the music already, so here are my super-small reviews of the main stage bands below.

Psychotica: Who are these losers and why don’t they get day jobs and stop torturing my ears?

Screaming Trees: Boss. The absolute best live band in the universe.

Rancid: Nifty. Upbeat and entertaining, the brass section and organ player were especially cool.

The Ramones: Sounded like all their albums except louder. I know they’re legendary, but all their songs sound the same to my ears.

Devo: A welcome batch of weirdness, plus it was great to hear all their old tunes live. The absence of any sideways hats was a let-down to me though.

Soundgarden: Appeared to be drunk. Their set was mostly their older, heavier stuff, though Chris Cornell did a solo version of “Black Hole Sun” that was stunning.

Metallica: Not my kind of thing. Left after four songs.

Anyhoo, let’s move on to the big picture, the overall gestalt one might say, of Lollapalooza. In the days of yore, the atmosphere of Lollapalooza was almost as important as the music.

The festival started as Perry Farrell’s idea of a festival that celebrated the youth counter-culture and diversity. Lollapalooza was a way for kids who didn’t live in California or New York to be exposed to underground bands, check out political booths and see a whole bunch of kids like themselves.

Since Farrell is no longer involved with Lollapalooza, many have accused the concert of becoming mainstream and money-oriented, no longer concerned with the original goals.

Their fears seemed confirmed when the hugely popular metal band Metallica booked to headline this year’s tour. These critics do have some justification. There were no hip-hop or female-fronted bands this year, two things which were always included in the past, and should have been this time.

And the “alternative” aspects of Metallica, despite their protestations on MTV, are pretty dubious.

But there still was plenty of diversity in this concert. The inclusion of 80’s weirdoes Devo was great. And seeing Rancid incorporate a trombone solo into one tune is what Lollapalooza is all about.

There also was a graceful martial arts performance by the Shaolin Monks of China, which included a master monk breaking a lead pipe over his head.

As usual, the second and third stages provided great, underground bands. Fireside, a band all the way from Sweden, was the highlight. Even Metallica couldn’t douse the Lollapalooza spirit in Fireside.

The booths were a bit of a disappointment. There were the usual vendors selling beads, hackey sacks and weird hats, but I didn’t notice many politically oriented booths, nor did I see a film tent or a spoken word tent, both of which I enjoyed last year.

The many Lollapalooza magazines they were handing out promised a carnival complete with Ferris wheel and hall of mirrors, but these attractions were no where to be seen, which made me fairly angry. Maybe we got ripped off because the Gorge is almost the last stop of the tour, but it was still frustrating.

The only highlight was the Rancid booth (separate from the other Lollapalooza merchandising vultures) that was selling Rancid memorabilia at a fraction of the price of other booths.

Lollapalooza was fun, and while a tad more mainstream than yesteryear, it still maintains a good deal of Perry Farrell’s dream. The bands were varied (some good, some bad) and the sound was impossibly loud (but clean and clear).

As always, there were a lot of interesting and different people milling around, and enough water facilities to prevent me from becoming more than mildly dehydrated.

It was a blast, an experience I’ll always associate with summer. Next time though, I’ll remember where we parked, because wandering aimlessly through the dark looking for a car among thousands of other people at midnight is a part of the ritual I could go without.

MEMO: See related story under the headline: Just call it Moneypalooza