Don’t Be Lenient With Molesters

Picture a 16-year-old boy. His entire life stretches before him - college, career, wife, family. But the boy is living a horrible secret.

A family friend is sexually molesting him every weekend. After the abuse is discovered, the older friend (a man in his 40s) claims the relationship was consensual - as if a 16-year-old boy could consent to something with the potential to destroy his life.

Spokane physician Gregory Nail was sentenced last week to 90 days in jail after pleading guilty to molesting a Bonner County, Idaho, teenager. The teen is 19 now, but the abuse started long ago - when the young man was 16 and perhaps even younger. When the allegations first surfaced, Nail denied, denied, denied. He said he was a heterosexual. Then he said he is a homosexual and the boy had consented.

The whole case makes you sick. And 90 days in jail is a mere wrist-slapping when you consider what a struggle the young man faces.

The Nail case reminds us that our society needs much more education about the devastating consequences of sex abuse.

First, sex abusers don’t always look the part. When Nail was accused, his patients said it couldn’t be him - such a good doctor, such a caring man. But remember, child molesters don’t lurk in alleys. They often are well-respected, well-educated, well-connected men. It has become almost a cliche when a Scout leader, a favorite coach or a pediatrician is accused of child molestation.

Second, the myth exists that if a boy, especially a teenager, is being abused, something is OK about it sexual exploration is part of growing up. But if Nail had been molesting an adolescent girl every weekend for years, imagine the uproar.

Third, boys who are abused need substantial and relentless help. Girls tend to channel the pain of abuse into self-abuse. They turn promiscuous, choose abusive boyfriends, drink, take drugs. Abused boys hurt themselves as well, but they also are at increased risk of molesting young children. If they don’t get help, quickly, the cycle of horror can ruin even more lives.

Nail is required to pay for the young boy’s counseling. This is justice because he could be paying for many, many years. A recent University of Washington study shows that recovery from sex abuse can take five to 10 years.

But the work is worth it. Survivors report that they “succeeded in life despite the long-term effects of abuse.”

We hope the same for the Bonner County teen and all those out there like him.

, DataTimes The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Rebecca Nappi/For the editorial board