Like Magic, Earvin Gets Fix

At the risk of being the Grinch, is anybody else out there troubled by the throwing of all those rose petals at the feet of Magic Johnson, the well-known addict?

His addiction, of course, is to the spotlight. For 4-1/2 years, he has tried to kick the habit. But he has found nothing else that fulfills him quite like performing before an audience and then hearing the waterfalls of applause.

Which is rather pathetic when you consider he has a family - a wife and two very young children - and he exists with a medical death sentence hanging over his head, so it might be reasonable to assume he would be spending whatever remains of his days bent over the rose beds and inhaling mightily.

But no, he has spent the last 4-1/2 years playing the celebrity leper. Instead of being homebound, he has roamed the world, barnstorming with a basketball team, turning up in remote places and hoping the spotlight can somehow find him. In short, he has kept right on living the NBA life.

“I’m not Magic Johnson anymore,” he had said when he announced he was retiring from basketball because he was carrying the virus that causes AIDS.

His tone turned wistful: “I’m Earvin Johnson now. I’d like to be Magic Johnson, but I can’t.” Oh, but he can. He has found a way. As a part-owner of the L.A. Lakers, he has simply activated himself.

The Lakers, who have been in decline since Johnson left, are naturally delighted. He still has the knack for elevating the performance of those around himTelevision is agog. TV would sell its soul for a Magic-Michael finals.

The NBA has fallen over in a swoon at Johnson’s return, and I can understand its ecstasy. But I’m sorry, I can’t help but feel vaguely manipulated.

If Johnson has a self-admitted duality - Earvin the person and Magic the player - then we should be permitted some ambivalence about his return.

Yes, a part of me rejoices. Sports needs Johnson’s joy and exuberance.

And, yes, a part of me is inspired and uplifted. Perhaps Johnson’s return will help eradicate our ignorance and ease our prejudice against AIDS.

And, yes, a part of me says if Johnson wants to come back - well, he’s no different than hundreds before him. Anymore, retirements are made to be broken.

At the same time, a part of me is bewildered.

When he first retired, I was guilty of singing long and loud in the Tragic Magic chorus. No one lit more candles. What a terrible thing, having such a wonderful performer struck down.

And then he admitted that during his career, he had engaged in literally hundreds - maybe thousands - of one-night stands, that he had brought the virus upon himself through careless, irresponsible, unprotected sex with women, many of whom he could not attach names to, so casual and quick were the couplings.

And having owned up to all this, in his autobiography, he said something truly troubling: “No apologies.”

No apologies? He might have contaminated thousands of women, who in turn contaminated thousands of other people. He might have put generations to come at grave risk. And he has no remorse at all? That is appalling. It is unconscionable.

Johnson’s defense was the moral to the story: If Magic Johnson could contract HIV, then anybody could. It was a masterful spin, like one of his no-look passes. He made himself into a martyr and hero.

I still remember, too, that when Magic Johnson’s young son was born, Johnson called his other son, Andre, now 14, whom he fathered by a woman he did not marry. Andre asked what he was going to name the boy. Johnson replied: “Earvin Johnson 3d.”

There was a pause, and Andre said: “Dad, that could have been my name.”

I still feel an arrow to the heart when I read that, and Johnson said he felt a rush of tears, too.

So this is where I have problems reconciling words with actions. Shouldn’t his family be Johnson’s first priority?

The best medical opinions say that people carrying the virus that causes AIDS can expect to live quite some time - and fairly “normally” - as long as they don’t do things overly strenuous.

Doesn’t the NBA strikes you as overly strenuous?

So it is possible - perhaps even probable - that Magic Johnson is hastening his own death, and a part of me thinks this is selfish, that he is robbing his wife and children just to indulge his vanity. But it is quite likely he cannot help himself. Most addicts can’t.