Letters To The Editor

Tue., Feb. 13, 1996

PEOPLE IN SOCIETY

Odd man out may lash back, in pain

I’m now 29 years old and I still feel angry over harassment I received throughout my public education. Although I don’t condone his actions and feel grief for the victims’ families, I definitely understand his actions.

I started carrying a hunting knife to school in the seventh grade for protection. As the daily teasing robbed me of my self-confidence and self-worth, I thought continually of suicide, of murdering the students who harassed me and the teachers who ignored and even encouraged their behavior.

I was always suspicious of the intentions of my classmates, and never felt safe. I tried to disappear, by being quiet and never doing anything to draw attention to myself. I remember walking between classes as quickly as possible, only looking at the floor, for fear of being singled out.

The memories of walking through the cafeteria trying to find a table that would allow me to sit with them and finally sitting by myself, feeling as if everyone was laughing at the nerd, are still vivid and painful.

I wasn’t pushed to the breaking point, as Barry Loukaitis apparently was. But it came very near.

As an adult I’ve rebuilt my self-esteem and I’m proud of the way I turned out. But the ridicule I experienced in my formative years will always be with me, reminding me of the cruel way human beings can treat each other.

My sympathy and understanding go out not to the dead but to the children who have to endure the punishment for being different. Eric Ingram Spokane

What about parents of accused boy?

Re: the shootings by Barry Loukaitis in Moses Lake:

Where is the parental responsibility in all this?

Fourteen-year-old boys from loving households don’t go on shooting sprees. The children of most divorced parents don’t go on shooting sprees. Nor do most children who are picked on at school.

At the age of 14, Loukaitis must take responsibility for his own actions, but so must his parents take responsibility for not being sufficiently involved in their young son’s life to know he had the propensity to commit such a horrendous act. Carol May Spokane

Needed: fewer rights, better parents

Regarding California state Assemblyman Mickey Conroy’s comments on spanking youngsters (“Lawmakers keep ban on school spanking, News, Jan. 31):

Democrats say that spanking is a throwback to a more inhumane age (mine) and an intolerable intrusion into matters best left up to parents. Sure it is! Then parents are arrested for child abuse.

I “abused” my four children when they needed it and none of them ever had a run-in with the law. Never did they steal or vandalize. Never did they kill anyone.

They were born with good sense and they used it. They were also taught at home and in school that there is absolute right and wrong. They knew the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule. I seldom had to punish them.

Incidentally, we were very poor, with no $500-per-month welfare or any other free handouts. Instead of free lunches they had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for several years. They did not complain. They didn’t know they had rights. They knew I did the best I could. My own lunch at work was very often a nickel candy bar.

My children now are in their 50s and are well-adjusted, productive citizens. You can’t blame violence on poverty. Rose Kirby Post Falls

Reese’s family loved her

The family of Felicia Reese has never been given any recognition since our beloved Felicia’s tragic death. We feel all concerned should know that she had a dad and grandparents who loved her very deeply, and who were torn apart by her death.

We know she’s in a much happier place now, but we’ll always miss her sweet, sunshine personality.

When she was little, she followed her mechanic father constantly. She knew all the tools and would bring them to him as he asked for them. She loved it, and they were very close. He lived a very lonely life after his divorce but always loved her deeply.

The “700 Club” portrayed him with his daughter and said he was an ex-con. We want to clarify that he never committed a felony of any kind. He was always there to give a helping hand to anyone who needed it. He and Felicia’s mother divorced, and we didn’t know where Felicia was for a few years. But when we finally found her again, our joy was overwhelming.

She loved to come to our farm and help us when she was a little girl. Grandpa would have her help him with the chores. We loved her in life and we always will. Birdie Reese Spokane

Infant’s plight wrenches the heart

After reading “Child placed in foster care after killing” (Jan. 17), my question is, now what?

You talked and talked about this maybe drug-related murder and a jailbird mother, but what about the 1-year-old baby girl found in the house after her father was gunned down?

What kind of mother is this? What kind of city lets people like this raise children? No wonder there is so much crime. There will be even more crime 10 years from now with these kinds of parents around.

What did this baby have to be subjected to during her father’s slaying? These images will stay with her forever.

I pray that Maria Scott doesn’t get her daughter back after all this. She should have been there for her daughter. Instead, she was in jail for a drug-related crime.

Please keep us informed of that poor baby girl. My heart goes out to her and she is in my prayers. Tonya R. Brooks Quincy, Wash.

SCHOOLS AND EDUCATION

Educate to civilize our children

The recent tragedy in Moses Lake is a real-life lesson in why schools should deal with issues outside the three Rs.

We must ask ourselves: Was this preventable, and how can we prevent this from happening again?

Attention should be given to studies like the one done by Eastern Washington University Professor Angela Scarpa, which indicates that children can learn to react in a nonaggressive way to their environment.

This should be taught in the home, but there’s no way parents alone can contradict the loud voice of society that bombards our kids with the message that violence is the solution to all problems.

Schools should now emphasize their role in helping all students become healthy, productive citizens and help rebuild the sense of community that’s been lost in our technological world, where things are often more important than people.

We need school programs that teach kids to successfully deal with feelings, their relationships and decision making in a nonaggressive way. These are the social skills programs many people don’t want to pay for. Good kids don’t know how to deal with all the stress. They need better coping mechanisms. It’s high time these social skills programs were expanded to include junior and senior high. Elizabeth Staeheli Spokane

Fully positive approach works best

Your Feb. 4 article on “processing” missed the issue of importance. The question is not whether the method of discipline chosen for this school is “gentle,” but whether the school’s focus is correct.

I suggest that adequate coverage of this issue could best be done by covering some of the marvelous approaches taken by some of our local schools.

We have a child at Windsor Elementary in the Cheney School District. The school has a wonderful, positive approach to behavior. Its program includes issuing Good Citizen Awards to children caught in acts of kindness, obeying school rules, being respectful or being cooperative. The citation is given to the child to take home and his or her name is entered in the school drawing for gifts.

Special recesses are awarded to those good citizens. Obviously, they could be called detention recesses for everyone except the good citizens, but that puts the attention again on the bad behavior and not the best behavior.

At this school the teachers were sold on the positive reinforcement approach that the administration initiated.

Remember, these young children still need and want the approval and love of adults.

Programs like this deserve attention. I’m sure it is a great deal of work to focus on positive behavior and to discipline without making the misbehaving child the center of attention. We need to recognize these efforts.

Just as the Windsor teachers try to put the good behavior at center stage, I would prefer you give us an article on these type of schools. The school in your article certainly doesn’t deserve the attention. Vern Brock Spokane

Panacea taken at face value

Apparently, Dr. Ron Nelson can count Staff writer Carla Johnson in on his recent big-sell of behavioral processing. Namely, an attempt to confuse how and for what this program is used.

While its proponents insist it neither punishes nor humiliates students, it’s sold to parents as a way to stop “rowdy” behavior by taking children out of their “safe” homeroom environment. What’s never made clear is that the program primarily targets such egregious student behaviors as pencil tapping and looking out the window.

Drop in on one of his teacher training sessions. You will become familiar with such concepts as zero tolerance, an essential feature of this program, in which any normal behavior considered to be “off task” must be processed. Further, he makes the grossly simplistic assertion that high-risk student behaviors will be prevented by sending children out of their homeroom for minor, unintentional and minimally disruptive behaviors.

If Dr. Nelson dislikes such terms as discipline and humiliation he should ask the students what they think of his program. The suffering of children at the hands of this system is no small affair as parents and students are anxious to relate.

Have we lost sight of the fact that just because a desired outcome is realized the end does not necessarily justify the means? I suggest it is Dr. Nelson who needs to step out from behind his desk and observe the toll his program has taken on good kids whose behaviors until now were dealt with on an individual basis with the teacher who understands them and their circumstances best. Katie A. Jones, pediatric nurse practitioner Spokane

Processing works and kids support it

As a substitute teacher for District 81, I’ve seen no discipline programs that work better than Dr. Ron Nelson’s behavioral processing (“Processing gives rowdy kids pause,” Feb. 4). Schools that have invested their time in implementing this program correctly are rewarded remarkably by the improvement in students’ behavior and overall school atmosphere.

Processing is a very effective alternative that allows teachers to spend more time concentrating on delivering their lessons. Processing is easy to carry out and it gives students clarity and consistency as to the kind of behavior expected.

Teaching good behavior is crucial in raising children to control themselves and be responsible for their behavior. As insignificant as it may seem, rolling the eyes, speaking disrespectfully and making disruptive noise are concerns for many teachers. These issues must be addressed quickly so that students know what kind of behavior is socially unacceptable.

Without such life skills, the students will encounter problems in the future. We need to teach in small steps in order to prevent escalation of disruptive behaviors that are much harder to correct.

I have been to many schools. Students familiar with processing are very supportive of the program. Unlike taking recess time away or reprimanding in front of the class, processing isn’t humiliating; it is very private and kind.

I had the opportunity to take Dr. Nelson’s classes at Eastern Washington University. He is a sincere, dedicated professor who always supplied us with scientific evidence. I’m very pleased that more and more Spokane schools are implementing this program. Christine N. Crawford Spokane

Processing is behavior modification

Processing is not just time out. It is actually a behavior modification program, reality therapy, developed by Dr. William Glasser. Glasser first used reality therapy on juvenile delinquents. He later applied these techniques to Los Angeles-area students who were failing in school.

Glasser believes there are two kinds of failure: the failure to love and failure to achieve self-worth. When a student achieves these he achieves scholastically. He uses processing as a means to correct the failures.

I urge every parent whose child has been processed to read “Reality Therapy” or other Glasser books.

While we all know that some children need special help, it is impossible to believe that all do, especially for just laughing at the sound of a tuba, as was reported by one parent.

It is obvious that parents in the Ritzville School District have done so. They have fought for over a year to keep Glasser’s experimental psychology out of their schools. What is even worse is the application of that therapy by unlicensed therapist teachers.

Wake up, Spokane and stop this processing now. There are many effective discipline programs that work for normal children like yours. You have the right and responsibility to participate in determining which will be used in your schools. John J. Talbott Spokane

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