Gay Support Group Bridges Gap

Wed., Feb. 14, 1996

Nancy Woods Special To Opinion

I have two friends who are “coming out” telling their families and friends that they’re homosexual.

We Americans don’t like to discuss sexuality. We deny. We’re uncomfortable.

My friends have been struggling with their denial and internal conflict, but for their families and close friends, the struggle will begin with hearing the news. And the families and close friends are going to be uncomfortable.

I thought maybe the local drugstore would have a Valentine’s Day greeting for a gay child to send to her parents: “Mom and Dad, thank you for trying to understand me. I’m grateful, and I love you.” No such luck.

Well, there might be one for parents to send to a child who has just “come out,” something that says, “This is hard for me, but I love you.”

No? OK, how about from a parent who’s had time to understand and accept? “Happy Valentine’s Day to a gay son. You’ve enriched our lives more than we thought possible.” Those things are hard to say out loud. Or, “To our lesbian daughter - We’re so proud of you.”

But there were no cards like that.

There were no cards speaking of the transition from shock and disbelief (“How can this be true of someone I know so well?”) to strong, glad affirmation (“I’m so proud you’re my son.”)

People usually face this news alone, with no guidance, no role models and no idea how to proceed. Greeting cards can bridge many an abysmal gap, but the industry hasn’t dared to broach this one. Too cutting-edge.

For this hesitant society, on these glad and painful occasions, there is PFLAG Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

Spokane has an active chapter - actively seeking to support parents, friends and families who have a gay or lesbian loved one and actively working to see that the civil rights of gay men and lesbians are maintained and are not legislated away.

For those of us who need a different greeting card, PFLAG is a great place to be.

xxxx

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