Bullies Turn School Years Into Adult-Sized Nightmare Letter Of The Week: From Feb. 13

I’m now 29 years old and I still feel angry over harassment I received throughout my public education. Although I don’t condone Barry Loukaitis’ actions and feel grief for the victims’ families, I definitely understand his actions.

I started carrying a hunting knife to school in the seventh grade for protection. As the daily teasing robbed me of my self-confidence and self-worth, I thought continually of suicide, of murdering the students who harassed me and the teachers who ignored and even encouraged their behavior.

I was always suspicious of the intentions of my classmates, and never felt safe. I tried to disappear, by being quiet and never doing anything to draw attention to myself. I remember walking between classes as quickly as possible, only looking at the floor, for fear of being singled out.

The memories of walking through the cafeteria trying to find a table that would allow me to sit with them and finally sitting by myself, feeling as if everyone was laughing at the nerd, are still vivid and painful.

I wasn’t pushed to the breaking point, as Barry Loukaitis apparently was. But it came very near.

As an adult I’ve rebuilt my self-esteem and I’m proud of the way I turned out. But the ridicule I experienced in my formative years will always be with me, reminding me of the cruel way human beings can treat each other.

My sympathy and understanding go out not to the dead but to the children who have to endure the punishment for being different. Eric Ingram Spokane

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