Public Periscope

Ringing in some resolutions

We here at “Periscope” are loath to suggest we know what’s best for any of our finest public officials, but that doesn’t mean we won’t give it a go anyway. Here’s a list of suggested resolutions for those burdened with the task of spending taxpayers’ money.

Gov. Mike Lowry vows to be a hands-off governor.

County commissioners promise to melt their gold badges and exchange them for cash if they run into a repeat of 1995’s money problems.

Mayor Jack Geraghty resolves to resolve something.

County Commissioner Steve Hasson promises to open an all-night, non-smoking cornbread-and-ribs joint with window access.

Assessor Charlene Cooney vows to buy a calculator.

Councilman Chris Anderson resolves to push the state Legislature for an Internet clean-speech bill.

Coroner Dexter Amend vows to stop making predecessor Graham McConnell look like the consummate public official.

Ditto for Prosecutor Jim Sweetser of Don Brockett.

Sweetser also promises to look for the union label.

Commissioner John Roskelley vows to wear a Kevlar vest over his golfing polyester.

Commissioner Phil Harris vows to reach out and touch his North Carolina brother - via telephone.

Ex-state Rep. Todd Mielke vows to give at least two weeks’ notice before bailing out of his next job.

Spokane Transit Authority Executive Director Allen Schweim resolves to cancel all his subscriptions to Italian interior design magazines.

If all else fails … beg

Desperate members of the Democratic “500 Club” have taken out an ad in The Pacific Northwest Inlander with hopes of drafting contenders for public office. … “If Newt makes you mad and you don’t know what to do, … new faces are needed to run as progressive Democratic candidates,” reads the ad. Says President Kathy Reid: The club hopes to find some “good people who’d like to run for office but don’t know what to do. … It’s a shot in the dark to see what would happen.”

Bear on the run

Where, oh where, should the polar bear go?

The stuffed bruin shot by a Spokane hunter in 1971 spent years glaring icily at guests at the Davenport Hotel and then at travelers at Spokane International Airport. … It was moved to Walk in the Wild in 1993, but the zoo’s closure means the bear is looking for a new space.

The owner says he’d like to put the bear someplace where its pearly whites, glossy fur and plate-sized paws can be admired by lots of people, which leads us to wonder why it ever was taken to the zoo, where the motto was: “A Good Place to Be Alone.”

Our picks: The downtown Plaza bus station or the new arena.

Got a better idea? Contact the “Periscope” at the address or phone numbers listed below.

Bidding a fond farewell

Spokane School District 81 board member John Warn stepped down last week after 28 years of service. … He has witnessed layoffs, recalls, a teachers strike, an energy crisis and a fire that destroyed district headquarters. … He served with 27 different board members and four superintendents, handed out at least 10,000 diplomas and saw 13 schools closed and 19 built. … We wish him bon voyage as he takes off with his wife, Agnes, for a trip to Mexico and California. … After as many as 650 board meetings, he deserves a long vacation.

, DataTimes MEMO: “Public Periscope,” published Mondays, is compiled by Jim Camden from staff reports. If you have a question about government, growth or development, we’d like to help find an answer. Write us c/o The Spokesman-Review, Box 2160, Spokane 99210, or contact us by fax at 459-5482 or by e-mail at jimc@spokesman.com. Or call Cityline at 458-8800 on a Touch-Tone phone, then press 9120 to leave a message.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by Jim Camden from staff reports