Grandson Strikes Sour Chord

This is a story about common decency - or I wish it were. They say that common decency is uncommon these days.

It begins with a Sacramento woman in her 80s, born in a time when well-bred women were sweet, subordinate and rarely raised a fuss. But the silent-simmer routine got old several weeks ago and she decided she’d had enough.

So she hired an attorney to go after her grandson. She claims he took her most beloved possession from her home and won’t give it back. The item: a baby grand piano her late husband played for many years.

While such tales outrage advocates for the elderly, they do not surprise them. Older Americans lose assets such as money, real estate and possessions to younger family members more often than anyone would believe.

As in many such cases, this grandmother doesn’t want to see her grandson punished. She just wants her piano back.

“Every time I pass down the hallway and glance into the living room, I see where the piano should be and remember (her late husband) sitting there playing the ‘Missouri Waltz,”’ she said.

The grandson, who works in law enforcement, said that, yes, he knows she wants the piano back.

He laughed at first at my call, then grew serious. When asked why he didn’t simply give the piano back, he refused to say anything more except that it was “personal, family business.”

His mother said he told her his grandmother gave him the piano. Grandma hotly contests that, adding she’s begged him to “bring the piano home” every month since he took it late in 1994.

According to the grandmother (the grandson refused comment), the story of how she lost her piano goes like this:

Pressure to hand over the piano began when the grandfather was still alive and increased after he died. “He (the grandson) kept coming around here saying, ‘Why can’t I have the piano?’ … and I’d say, ‘Well, (my husband) gave that to me and it’s important to me and I’m not ready to give it up.”’

In October 1994, her grandson appeared at her door and stayed with her for several days, something he’d never done before. He pressed on and on about the piano the entire time. One morning he told her to go fill up her Cadillac with gas. When she asked him why, he became very angry. So, she went for gas, wanting to make him happy. A truck was in her driveway when she got back. Her piano already was on a dolly, wrapped in pads.

She remembers becoming hysterical and “clawing” at the restraints holding the piano, a scene that still plays “like a record” through her head. She said her grandson pulled her away and pushed her down a hallway while she screamed and cried. “I tried to get past him, ducking this way and that, but he’d just step in front of me … ,” she said. As the truck drove off, her grandson made her get into her car and accompany him to his home, which is in another town, many hours away. She said he was worried she’d call the police and he’d be stopped on the highway on the way.

She spent the night on his sofa because it was too late to drive home; her piano already was there in his living room, she said. He took her to a restaurant the next morning, pointed her to the freeway and sent her on her way, she said. She said she used a credit-card receipt to persuade a gasstation attendant to sell her gas to get home. One person turned her down.

“I must have looked crazy. I didn’t have a comb. I’d been crying all morning. And there I was with no wallet, no money. My husband took good care of me. Never had I been in such a position.”

She called Sacramento police twice, and said she was told it sounded like a civil matter. Over the next 16 months, her grandson promised to return the piano, but never did. Recently, he told her she wasn’t getting it back.

Angry and desperate, she called police. Records indicate her daughter said the grandmother has Alzheimer’s. This is not true, according to police and Adult Protective Services. A social worker interviewed the woman’s doctor, and he said she does not.

But what piques my interest is how the official issue - did she give him the piano; did she not? - is almost beside the point. I mean, if your grandmother was heartsick over a piano and you had it in your possession, wouldn’t you just give the piano back? Isn’t that just common decency?

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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Diana Griego Erwin McClatchy News Service