Proud Of Local Law Enforcement

Spokane Police Chief Terry Mangan makes me appreciate Kootenai County’s Top Hogs. Mangan, as you may recall, occasionally finds himself in trouble for using questionable judgment during his off-duty hours. In August 1994, he suspended himself for two days for cussing out a 19-year-old motorist who had flipped him off. On March 8, he got himself in trouble again by grabbing a shotgun before challenging three goofballs playing a car version of hide-and-seek outside his home. In contrast, Coeur d’Alene Police Chief Dave Scates spends his off-duty hours coaching high-school football. Post Falls Police Chief Cliff Hayes saves cats from trees. And Kootenai County Sheriff Pierce Clegg operates a gas mart and ranches. Pretty boring, huh? But professional.

How about a prayer for victim’s mother?

The pointy-headed clerics staging the prayer circus in Boise for condemned killer Don Paradis might like to remember Sherry Britz, too. She’s the mother of Paradis’ victim, Kimberly Palmer. Sherry suffers each time Paradis skirts his execution date. But that’s her tough luck. Right?

One in five fourth-graders smarter than dogs

The results from the first statewide essay tests for fourth-graders are nothing to write home about. Seems Idaho fourth-graders did about as well as your average German shepherd. Only one in five can write a clear, grammatically correct statement. (Maybe that’s why only three 9- to 11-year-olds entered the fiction division of the Coeur d’Alene library’s annual writing contest.) But not to worry. State testing coordinator Sally Tiel knows how to fix the problem. She says students would perform better if (drum roll, please) they were taught the skills needed to communicate. Duh!

Hollyweird should recast Weaver cast

Imagine! Randy Quaid, Laura Dern and Darren Burrows are playing the Weaver gang in the TV miniseries, “Ruby Ridge: An American Tragedy.” They’re too glamorous. More appropriate casting would have had Jim “Dumb & Dumber” Carrey as Randy, Kathy “Misery” Bates as Vicky, Kermit “The Muppets” Frog as Kevin Harris and The Keystone Kops as the U.S. marshals. I can’t wait to see how Hollyweird portrays our former Boundary County neighbors. The miniseries, based on “Every Knee Shall Bow,” the book by former Spokesman-Review colleague Jess Walter, airs May 19-21 on CBS. Oh well, Jess will be laughing all the way to the bank even if the miniseries flops and screws up his story line, too.

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