Adoption Makes Two Moms

Sat., May 11, 1996

Sandra Maher Special To Opinion

Somewhere in this world, a young woman I shall call Sophie is counting the days to my daughter’s birthday. In the stillness and depth of her heart, she holds her close in prayer. For you see she knows full well the details of her birth and how she came into our lives. She is my daughter’s birthmother.

For a brief time, Sophie felt a tiny body within her own. Like most mothers, Sophie caressed her belly and soothingly spoke comforting words to her child. She approached childbirth classes with the same fear and concerns any pregnant woman would have. And in great agony she labored, as her body tried to bring forth this infant and her emotions desperately tried to hang on.

Once she delivered, Sophie tasted the sweetness of her babe in arms as she kissed life breath into her young one’s eyes and nose, fingers and head. Tears, that will never cease to flow, poured relentlessly as she walked away that final day. Her life would be changed forever. And so would mine as I welcomed her child.

Yes, this is an adoption story. My experience is an ongoing celebratory joy of being in life together with my daughter - Sophie’s daughter. I am daily blessed with the sweetness of her presence in my life. While at the same time, I am so keenly aware of the emptiness and void that plague the days of Sophie’s life. It is important to me to honor her existence. On my daughter’s birthday, we light a candle and say a prayer for Sophie. I want her to know I celebrate her life and her love for our mutual daughter.

There are many devastating loss experiences involved in childbearing - abortion, miscarriages, stillbirths, and infertility. Adoption is only one of these experiences. It is an unnatural and painful separation of mother and child. This choice often leaves women wounded throughout life - always wondering if the decision was right and if their child is having a happy life.

And so, as I approach this Mother’s Day, I cannot help but sing the praises of these unsung heroes, women and mothers who have placed children through adoption.

In humble tribute, it is with honor and a profound respect that I acknowledge all the special women who have borne children into the receiving arms of fortunate women such as myself.

MEMO: Your Turn is a feature of the Wednesday and Saturday Opinion pages. To submit a Your Turn column for consideration, contact Rebecca Nappi at 459-5496 or Doug Floyd at 459-5466 or write Your Turn, The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615.

Your Turn is a feature of the Wednesday and Saturday Opinion pages. To submit a Your Turn column for consideration, contact Rebecca Nappi at 459-5496 or Doug Floyd at 459-5466 or write Your Turn, The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615.

Local journalism is essential.

Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are tax deductible.

Meet Our Journalists

Jesse Tinsley

Meet Jesse Tinsley. As a certified drone pilot, this veteran Spokesman-Review photographer often can be seen capturing beautiful aerial photographs of our region. Sometimes though, the job requires getting down with the dogs.
Jim Meehan

Jim Meehan is no stranger to Zag Nation. As the lead writer covering the Gonzaga men’s basketball team, he tells the stories behind the game and gets fans a bit closer to their favorite players.
Molly Quinn

There is no artist in Spokane like Molly Quinn. Her whimsical style is instantly recognizable to readers of The Spokesman-Review. She has painted gorgeous illustrations that instantly elevate the journalism accompanying it. She brings to life the stories that defy photography. She makes our pages better.
Rob Curley

Spokesman-Review editor Rob Curley loves to talk with people and learn about their lives, whether it's a best-selling author or a stranger he meets downtown on his walk to lunch. It's that inquisitive nature combined with a playful sense of storytelling that helps make our newspaper different than most.