Hundreds Gobble Free Turkey Dinners

The band should have played “Freebird.”

That’s because the 16 or so turkeys that folks devoured Saturday at Opportunity Presbyterian Church were donated. Anyone could show up to the church’s harvest dinner and chow down at no charge.

About 250 people packed the church gym. They made short work of the turkey, then watched the Hillyard Belles and Trainmen tear things up.

But the band wasn’t into ‘70s rock anthems like “Freebird.” They were big on the Roaring ‘20s instead.

Most guests were done eating and sinking in a post-dinner coma when The Trainmen, all dressed in vaudeville hats and vests, took to the stage.

They launched into “When the Saints Go Marching In,” only with new words. The nouveau version was “When the Belles Go Marching In.”

And they did. A dozen elderly women draped in blue, green, purple and pink boas strutted through the crowd toward the stage, lacy umbrellas twirling behind them.

“Oh, there they are!” a lady told a little boy, whose head spun this way and that. “The Belles!”

A man with a saxophone introduced the gals, one by one. County Coroner Dexter Amend, sitting in a folding chair next to the dessert table, quietly whistled his approval.

Everyone seemed to get into the tunes. Kids bounced along with the banjos. One group of kids played with an orange, Muppet-looking marionette, making it dance along with the ragtime sound.

“This one’s called ‘Ain’t She Sweet,” the guy with the sax announced. “By the time it’s done, you’ll say, ‘Ain’t they sweet, yea-us!”’

The Belles danced to that and later two of them lip-synched to “Ain’t We Got Fun.” A boy named Aaron found his own fun by scaling a basketball hoop in back of the gym.

Melissa Mecham watched her 2-1/2-year-old daughter, Erin, hop around the basketball court. A Belle in the making, Mom decided.

While a couple Trainmen came out dressed in sombreros and played with Mexican marionettes, Cheryl Olson and Ann Phillips were stuck in The War Room. That’s where all those birds were baked.

“And 240 rolls,” Phillips added, peeking over the counter.

The idea behind this thing, they said, was to reel in new members. “It’s our biggest turnout to a harvest dinner in six years,” Olson beamed.

Organizer Jane Hussey, rocking her out-cold granddaughter, figured 40 percent of the diners weren’t church members. Those Belles packed ‘em in.

Before the night was over, some decided they just couldn’t sit. They had to boogie to that accordion groove.

Amend spun a flapper girl about the floor in tight circles, her feathers flailing behind.

When the “Chicken Song” started, Amend bid his showgirl a smiling adieu.

The Belles and Trainmen danced with the knee-high fans, who rushed the stage and about turned it into a mosh pit. They flapped their arms whenever someone made a warbling bird call.

It drove the crowd wild. Everyone clapped. Next came the Hokey Pokey.

“You turrrrn around,” the guy with the sax sang, rolling his Rs. “And that’s what it’s all about!”

But the Trainmen never got around to “Freebird.” Maybe Lynyrd Skynyrd will play next year.

, DataTimes MEMO: Valley Snapshots is a regular Valley Voice feature that visits gatherings in the Valley. If you know of a good subject for this column, please call editor Mike Schmeltzer at 927-2170.