Single-Parent Resents Stats

My son was born almost 26 years ago. I was 19 years old and newly married and I had in my mind a Donna Reed image of how my life was going to be. I’d have a nice home, a husband who had a great job and two or three nice kids.

The dream didn’t last long. My husband and I were both young and our marriage wasn’t meant to last. We divorced when our son was almost 2. Even though my dream died, I knew it wouldn’t ruin my life. I got a full-time job as a nurse’s aide in a hospital newborn unit. The women working there mothered me and encouraged me to go to college.

I did. I went to school full-time and also worked and raised my son - with lots of help. My folks helped. My friends helped. My sisters helped. I became a licensed practical nurse and worked in a doctor’s office for less pay than I would have made working in a hospital. But I wanted more regular hours. My son was my absolute priority. I spent evenings, weekends and holidays with him. I was there when he needed me.

I went to his games and volunteered in his school and he had men in his life to look up to. My father and brother-in-law were good influences on him. When I went out with someone, and I didn’t get the feeling that there was rapport with my son, that person was out the door. As far as we were concerned, our family was complete. We made it work.

My son has grown into a delightful young man. He’s stable. He’s got a good job in law enforcement. He’s married to an adorable young woman. And he married into a family that has become part of our extended family.

So it makes me angry when I see all those statistics and reports that blame bad kids on single mothers. They always say a high percentage of these troubled kids come from single-parent homes. I resent that. There will always be bad kids from all kinds of families - even Donna Reed families!

People would sometimes say to me: “Oh, it must be so hard to be a single mom.” I’d say: “It isn’t that hard. It’s your attitude that counts.”

I’d like to say this to single moms: Put your children first. It’s up to you to guide them into adult life. Involve yourself in their lives and be a positive influence. Don’t pay attention to the criticism. You have just chosen a different road.

And I’d like to say this to society: Can the stereotypes about single moms. We can raise great kids, too!

MEMO: “Your turn” is a feature of the Wednesday and Saturday Opinion pages. To submit a “Your turn” column for consideration, contact Rebecca Nappi at 459-5496 or Doug Floyd at 459-5466 or write “Your turn,” The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane 99210-1615.