Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Them bums from Brooklyn

Bob Dole referred to the L.A. Dodgers as the Brooklyn Dodgers this week. Then he hopped in his Packard and announced that he fully expects to whip Harry Truman come November.

The slogan to put Dole over the top

The Dole campaign’s new anti-drug slogan, “Just don’t do it,” won out over several other contenders, including, “Hey, cut it out,” “Just say nix” and “You kids stop it this instant.”

It’s grass-burning season in Idaho

Too bad Clinton didn’t visit North Idaho last week. He would have finally inhaled some “grass.”

Thank goodness

On Tuesday, Spokane voters said “No!” loud and clear to frivolous big-government programs. I refer, of course, to fixing streets.

Perot’s chances are debatable

Ross Perot, considered flaky and unelectable, won’t be included in the televised presidential debate. However, he has been offered a recurring role on “The X-Files.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines, a feature of the Sunday Opinion Page, is Jim Kershner’s satirical look at issues in the news. The views expressed are those of the writer.