‘Grosse Point’ A Hit Man Movie That Misses Its Mark
If there is one thing I hate, it’s a movie that can’t decide what is wants to be a film that waffles between a good idea and a bad idea. In the case of “Grosse Pointe Blank,” the movie is split between two equally awful ideas.
“Grosse Pointe Blank” is billed as a romantic comedy, but falls short on both counts. The romance is on the level of a fifth-grade school play, and the comedy is virtually nonexistent.
John Cusack plays professional hit man Martin Blank (no cheesy pun intended). While stalking a victim, Blank learns about his upcoming 10 year high school reunion.
Slowly but surely, he warms to the idea of going to the reunion and of seeing his old girlfriend (Minnie Driver), despite the burden of having to explain what he’s been doing for the past 10 years. Blank considers that, “I’m a professional killer” probably won’t do.
Meanwhile, a rival hit man (Dan Akyroyd) is supposedly trying to organize a union for the professional killers, the goal of which would be to make more money and prevent mix-ups like two people being hired to murder the same person. That happens between Akyroyd’s character and Blank. Akyroyd eventually goes after his rival.
To further complicate the plot (if you accept the idea that there is one), two federal agents and a South American terrorist are in town. However they are not there for the high school reunion. They all want Blank’s head.
There are several weak attempts at humor throughout this mess. Publicists for “Grosse Pointe Blank” claim its humor is like “Pulp Fiction.” But it ends up being more like a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. It’s simply not funny.
It is painfully obvious, however, where the laughs are supposed to be. There is a fine line between deadpan humor and a dead audience. “Grosse Pointe Blank” doesn’t come close to crossing it.
What’s worse (yes, it can get worse) is that even if the film was funny and romantic, it still would be dreadful. The story randomly alternates between the humor and the romance but the two never intertwine - a trait that is usually at the heart of successful romantic comedies.
The performances are unimpressive, excluding Joan Cusack as Blank’s secretary. She shares some of her boss’s values (or lack thereof) and provides a slight refuge from the humorless world that “Grosse Pointe Blank” creates.
John Cusack bores me to tears. He doesn’t have the on-screen presence necessary to pull off this complex yet poorly written role - something that John Travolta probably could have done in a heartbeat.
Just about any movie in theaters right now is more entertaining than “Grosse Pointe Blank.” If you’re looking for dark humor, try the re-release of “Scream.” That movie is terrifyingly funny, instead of terribly bad.
Grade: F