This ‘Pitcher’ Had Too Weak A Throwing Arm

Whoever asked survivors to drop his cremated remains in Lake Pend Oreille should have picked someone with a better throwing arm. An 8-by-8-inch plastic bag of remains attracted a crowd Wednesday after it was spotted off the end of a Farragut State Park boat ramp. There the remains remained until the Spokane Cremation Society confirmed ol’ No. 473 had been submerged legally. Afterward, deputy Ken Dodge fished the remains out with a long pole and dropped them in a deeper spot. Who says total immersion beats sprinkling?

Don’t play ball!

In a Huckleberry Past (Feb. 24), you learned about the tribulations of the Boundary County Junior High School gym. First, winter storms damaged the gym’s old roof and floor, prompting an insurance company to pay for a shiny new court. Then state inspectors converged to decide whether the building should be condemned. It wasn’t. Now, fire inspectors have decreed that no more than 50 people can be in the gym at one time because it lacks adequate fire exits. Bottom line? No games will be played on the first new floor the gym has had in decades.

Fan mail

“Dante’s Peak” (aka Wallace) is getting panned in South Korea, too. This, according to a review sent by Mike Green, world traveler, former correspondent and Sierra Silver Mine Tour trolley driver extraordinaire. Writes Mike, who’s working at the Lee Foreign Language Center in Seoul: “I thought it significant that I’m on the other side of the planet and read about little Wallace in my local paper, one of only two English newspapers in the country. That town never ceases to amaze me for its notoriety despite its size.” Indeed. … By the way, reviewer Edmund Lee was surprised Wallace had given producers permission to turn the town into “an unrecognizable area of mass destruction.” Obviously, he’s never attended the Lead Creek Derby.

More fan mail

Tad Leach, ex-Lincolnwood (Ill.) Police Department chief, didn’t like a Huckleberry Past (April 14) about North Idaho College men’s basketball coach Hugh Watson’s stolen car. By e-mail, Leach writes: “In most municipalities, repossessed vehicles account for a significant, if not majority, of reported stolen vehicles. Therefore, it made sense for the 911 dispatcher to determine if the vehicle could have been repossessed by inquiring if they (the Watsons) had kept up with the payments. You did a real disservice to the dispatcher and the public who might not understand.”

Huckleberries

Missoula reader Jamie Kelly ran “D.F. Oliveria” through an anagram generator and came up with encouraging messages for Leach and other critics: “Rid evil oaf” and “Voila! Fired!” … What’s this? Kootenai County employees are miffed that one of three handicapped parking spaces, the one nearest the courthouse, now serves as a reserved parking space for (drumroll, please) Commissioner Ron Rankin. Ol’ Vox Pop himself. They sure change once they get into office. … Trustee Herb Cheeley was surprised when Hayden Lake Principal Kathleen Kuntz notified the Coeur d’Alene School Board that she will be migrating south. Said he: “You’re moving to California?” Responded she: “I know. I know. It’s backward. But the husband can’t get it straight.” … Local gendarmes are seeing red over the final one of 17 reasons given in a Behavioral Health Institute ad why “battered women stay”: “Because the police, lawyers, courts, the law itself, mental health professionals, clergy, friends, medical personnel, family members all provide tacit approval of wife-beating.” Really.

Parting shot

Gov. Phil Batt should have known the feds were going to double-cross him and try to list the bull trout as endangered. (This, even though Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt had promised to cooperate with Idaho to protect the fish.) Our Woman in Boise found a foretaste of things to come in the letter Babbitt sent Batt last June. In it, Babbitt wrote about protecting the “Bill Trout.” Hmmm. Is that “Bill” as in Clinton, perhaps? Or as in “time to pay up”?

, DataTimes MEMO: Got a Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound Hotline at (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125 or send e-mail to daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review