Memories Live On Colbert Couple Comforts Grieving Animal Owners By Giving Them An Idyllic Place For Burials

Old Moon died at 14 last month, taking a bit of his owner’s world with him.

Mike LaScuola wanted his white German shepherd close by, so he dug a 4-foot hole in the flower bed of his Spokane home and buried his dog, his collar, and a film canister wrapped in duct tape with the note:

“This is Moon. If anybody finds this, realize he was a real good dog. He could fetch a snowball in a blizzard. If you encounter his remains, please replace them with respect and reverence.”

As Americans move away from their families, and into apartments, rentals and cross-country careers, a pet’s death is increasingly problematic.

One owner chose a vacant lot near Chase Middle School last week, leaving behind a small grave, a wooden cross and Max. More owners are choosing private cremation - the Spokane County Animal Shelter even sells urns.

For 30 years, Family Pet Memorial Gardens near Colbert has been a quiet alternative. An acre of grass, shaded by birch and mountain ash, covers the graves of nearly 700 pets, all adored.

“Our very special little girl Rosie” - a laboratory rat - lies here, as do the horses Dyny “Onto Greener Pastures” and Rusty “Onto Join His Friend.”

The “Prince of Collies” rests near “Our Beloved Stitch” and “Old Kitty Boy, best ratter ever was.”

Tom and Leslie Allen have run the only operating pet cemetery in the region for 17 years, full time since Tom retired from his job as a bakery route supervisor last year. In May, he opened a crematorium to handle the increasing demand. The cemetery can grow nearly a quarter mile.

The Allens offer sealed caskets, pink or blue, satin pillows, and granite headstones. Cemetery service, including pickup, burial plot, continuing care, casket and marker, starts at $295.

Shirley Alexander-Strahl loves the flower-covered place. She has four cats buried at Memorial Gardens and is paying ahead on two more plots. It’s her way of saying goodbye.

“Some people might say, ‘Why would she spend her money on something so stupid?’ I don’t care what people think, I know what’s important.”

The Nordstrom saleswoman was living in an apartment when she lost Petunia, her tabby, in 1987. She turned to Memorial Gardens and in the years since has buried Sasha, Natasha and Jamie there.

Alexander-Strahl’s daughter, killed in a fall from a car at 14, is buried in California. The pet cemetery is a place to remember all her losses.

“It’s a kind of a memorial to everything,” she said. “I go there and get cheered up. I think of all the joy these animals brought to people and I leave feeling very good.”

Changes in American society and families have made the bond people have with their pets increasingly important, social scientists say. Advances in veterinary medicine have also meant pets live longer and people often make the call when to put an animal down.

Grief over the loss, guilt over the euthanasia and a lack of understanding from other people has created a whole new field - pet loss support.

“The grief these people feel is real,” said Charlene Douglas, who’s counseled 2,000 pet owners nationwide. “This isn’t practice grief or a baby grief, this is the very same type of grief you feel when you lose a significant human and the same respect needs to be extended.”

Douglas founded the pet loss counseling program at Washington State University six years ago and counsels online now from Milwaukee. Two Spokane psychologists advertise they handle grief for pet loss.

This fall, veterinary students at WSU will also man a counseling hot line as part of their training. Entire lines of greeting cards offer sympathy.

When a pet dies, the family can leave it with the veterinarian, have it removed by Spokane Solid Waste (which may involve a fee), rendered, cremated or buried.

There are four crematories that conduct cremations in Spokane, owned by Dr. Michael Pfarr, the Spokane Humane Society, the County Animal Shelter and Family Pet Memorial Gardens. Residents in North Idaho either bury or transport their animals to Spokane.

LaScuola owns his home and knew it was legal to bury a pet in Spokane County under 2 feet of earth.

Rituals such as burial or scattering cremated remains can help people through the loss, counselors say. Such partings are not new. As far back as the 1930s, people buried beloved pets behind old Doc Stratton’s vet clinic on Wall and Francis.

When Dr. Phil Pfarr and his partner, Ralph Torney, bought the clinic, the pet cemetery “Sleepy Hollow” came with it. The vets offered burials for years for $5, Pfarr remembers. One local funeral home owner sent over its St. Bernard in a hearse and buried it in a human casket.

Eventually Pfarr’s son, Michael, took over the practice, the plots filled, the neighborhood grew, and the little cemetery closed. Now only cemetery tourists and the occasional visitor leave flowers.

Miles north at the Family Pet Memorial Gardens, a white fence frames granite markers, many with bronze plaques and each with a story: for the two birds, dog and cat named Christmas who died in a fire. Or the dog who fell through the ice at Medical Lake.

Allen recounts the histories as he walks with his chocolate Lab, Cody, at his heels.

Each story is unique, counselors say. That’s why telling someone to just get another pet doesn’t work.

“You would never tell someone who lost a husband, ‘Hey, the world is full of men, just go get another one.’ But we go up to a person who’s just lost the most important thing and say ‘Go get another one,”’ Douglas said.

“You can’t go to a pet store and replace a relationship with an animal you’ve had 20 years.”

After he buried his dog, LaScuola planted a rosebush, white like Old Moon. He has no plans to get another animal.

“Sometimes, you come across a pet that you harmonize with, build a bridge with, and you don’t get two of them, you only get one,” LaScuola says. “Moon was it.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color Photos

MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: For more information People-Pet Partnership at WSU: (509) 335-1303. Drs. Bonnie Baker and Tim Hopf, pet loss counselors: 455-9888. Pet loss counseling online: douglasc@exectc.com. For a list of resources in each state: Delta Society of Pet Loss Resources: (206) 226-7357.