When A Death Touches Your Life, You Come To Know

No generation is immune to the deadly combination of teens drinking and driving. I remember the summer after I graduated from high school in 1969. The news of Rick’s death stunned me with a sick feeling of shock and disbelief.

Everyone loved Rick. His blue eyes lit up his boyish features, hinting at a mischievous nature. Rick and my boyfriend (now husband) were buddies and teammates on the high school track team. Their relay team had made it to state that year. The newspaper photo showed the jubilant foursome with arms draped around each other’s shoulders, elated with their accomplishment.

Now, Rick was gone. Forever.

I struggled to accept the incomprehensible.

Rick had been at a party that night, drinking. Driving home, he failed to make the curve on a winding Pennsylvania road. His car slammed into a tree and he was killed instantly.

We anguished over our loss. How could this tragedy happen? I kept hoping it was a nightmare. Only it wasn’t.

Times haven’t changed much. I pass the handmade white cross on Twin Lakes Road on my way to work each day. Helium balloons flap listlessly and spray-painted messages have faded into the pavement. Feelings that I thought time had erased have interrupted my thoughts.

“In loving memory of Josh and Rachel - you will be in our hearts always.”

Two teens who had been at a party enjoying summer’s last days were killed on Aug. 16 in Winthrop. The driver of the car in which they were passengers lost control, and the car rolled over several times. Apparently, they all had been drinking.

The day after the accident, I noticed a group of friends huddled by the cross with numb expressions. I longed to comfort them. But what could I say? That time will ease the pain but never take it completely away? I cried for these innocent kids confronted with the harsh realities of drinking and driving.

I often ask myself what could make a difference. During the past decade, public awareness of DUI issues has increased dramatically.

Groups such as Mothers Against Drunk Driving and Citizens Against Drunk Driving have sprung up across the country. Ad campaigns present graphic reminders; posters of grisly accident scenes with the captions like, “Friends don’t allow friends to drink and drive.”

“Designated driver” became a common phrase several years ago in an attempt to keep drunken drivers from getting behind the wheel.

Yet, the information and promotions miss the mark. It’s asking people to use their judgment after they lose their judgment.

Too many people, especially teens, embrace the idea that drinking is the only way to have fun. How do we get beyond this in a culture steeped in this concept? As parents, teachers and community leaders, we can set a different standard in our personal lives and in our communities.

For example, parents rally to organize alcohol-free parties for high school seniors. Why can’t this energy be directed toward providing alcohol-free entertainment options on a regular basis.

Alcohol-related accidents are still the No. 1 killer of people ages 16 to 24. Young drinking drivers are involved in fatal crashes at more than twice the rate of drivers 21 and older.

There’s a sense of invincibility, of immunity to such tragedies - until they hit close to home. Unfortunately, the recent incident in Winthrop hammers the painful lessons home.

A 23-year-old has been charged with supplying alcohol to minors. The driver, an 18-year-old, faces vehicular homicide charges and a probable prison sentence - and, worse, a lifetime of regret.

It isn’t programs that will stop accidents. But changes in behavior, providing alternatives to the drinking-equals-fun equation could.

Is the fun worth the risk?

You only have to look into the blank faces of mourning kids at an accident scene to know the answer. xxxx