How About Seeking Out Some Common Ground?

I recently took a job at a telephone survey office. I’m new there, but I’m old, too. The age of 56 may not seem old to some of you, but when your co-workers and supervisors are younger than your own children, it can be hard to fit in.

Four years after retiring from a 27-year career with Washington Department of Social and Health Services, I thought it would be fun and not too stressful to get a part-time job. So I’m doing telephone research interviews. I’m trying to fit in, but I feel invisible there.

I’m invisible the way the “older women” were to my friends and me in my first real job that I had in my 20s. The women who worked in the office and were in their 40s, 50s and 60s seemed all the same. They just seemed like clones of my mother. They were nice, but their lives weren’t interesting. In contrast, our lives were interesting and full of drama!

If I had taken a part-time job in an office like the one I spent my career in, I might receive a respectful tolerance. This place, however, hires many “unconventional” employees. I believe I’m much more tolerant of them than they are of me. Maybe I should have my nose pierced, shave my head or dye my hair neon. I don’t mind at all that they do these things. I just hope they don’t mind so much if I wear matching earrings and a necklace.

I don’t like being judged by my appearance any more than they do. The difference is that I didn’t choose to have gray hairs or lines around my eyes.

Take notice, kids. This isn’t a threat, just a cold, hard fact: As you are now, I once was. Not quite as funky as you perhaps, but pretty unconventional and a free spirit. Funny thing is, I still think of myself that way.

And here’s another cold, hard fact: As I am now, someday you will be. Terrifying thought, isn’t it? I know it was for me at your age. You’ll still feel the same inside, but your appearance will tell a different story to young people who look right past you. Think about it.

So when I walk by you and smile, it won’t hurt if you smile back and say hello. In return, I will compliment you on your unique style. Then, let’s talk. We might find out that though our lives are so different, we share some ideas. Let’s find that common ground over a cup of coffee.