Marv’s Musings Pull No Punches

Forget basketball. When Marv Albert and Bill Walton are on a conference call together, it’s fun just listening to their repartee.

Opening the call for Sunday’s NBA All-Star Game telecast (3 p.m. PST, NBC), Albert said Walton was inspired by heavyweight Riddick Bowe’s decision to enlist in the Marines Corps.

“Bill has decided to join the Salvation Army,” Albert said.

Addressing the lack of offense in the NBA, Albert focused on his former on-air partner, Cleveland coach Mike Fratello, whose Cavaliers have been culprits in some low-scoring duds: Cleveland 79, Milwaukee 78; Chicago 87, Cleveland 71.

“I blame this whole trend on Mike Fratello,” Albert said, with tongue firmly in cheek. “He has taken the (NBA’s) 50-year anniversary celebration too seriously. He has brought basketball back to the 1946-47 season.”

Informed that during All-Star weekend Fratello will have a web site on the Internet, during which he will sell Chevrolets and recommend Cleveland restaurants, Albert said, “His web site will be like the Cavaliers’ offense: slow-moving, not much excitement.”

But seriously, folks, there was basketball talk. Some of it involved the Sixers’ beloved Derrick Coleman. Asked to compare the motivational highs and lows of Michael Jordan and Coleman, the Sixers’ part-time multimillion-dollar man, Walton replied: “It’s been quite a few years since I’ve heard Michael Jordan’s and Derrick Coleman’s names mentioned in the same sentence.

“Michael Jordan represents everything that’s right about basketball, about life, in terms of pushing himself to the limit. It’s unfortunate that too many fans see Michael Jordan as the spectacular athlete, flying through the air, and not enough credit is given to him for his incredible development of skills. His footwork is far and above anybody else in the league.”

Like many others, Matt Guokas, Albert’s regular partner, is puzzled by Coleman’s frequent stays on the injured list.

“I was surprised and encouraged for the Sixers that he played the first 26 games, which is amazing,” the former Sixers and Orlando coach said. “With this pinkie injury, there’s no way of knowing the severity of it unless you’re there every day, but it’s disconcerting that it would keep him out this long.”

ESPYs equal fun

Any entertainer who accepts the assignment of hosting the ESPY Awards show is asked for his sports credentials.

Jeff Foxworthy, the host for Monday’s show on ESPN at 5 p.m., played high school football in Georgia. One opponent was George Rogers, who later won the Heisman Trophy at South Carolina.

“My junior year, I almost tackled him,” Foxworthy said.

Foxworthy, the NBC sitcom star known for his redneck jokes, thinks hockey is “a great redneck sport, because you don’t need teeth to be successful.”

The ESPYs honor outstanding achievement in pro and amateur sports.

Garagiola goes to the dogs

The annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is one of the USA Network’s top-rated presentations. It’s on 8 p.m. Monday and Tuesday.

Joe Garagiola, former major-league catcher, baseball broadcaster and “Today Show” host on NBC, will be a co-host for the third year. Each year, Garagiola has to explain his involvement.

First, Garagiola loves dogs. He doesn’t have a dog now, but has owned Yorkshires and poodles. Second, he always watches the show. When USA asked him, he accepted, while making it clear he is no dog expert.