Cola Giants Fill Teen Minds With Tiny Bubbles

Like a U.N. peacekeeper in Bosnia, I toured one of Spokane’s war-torn high school campuses Wednesday to assess a carbonated conflict.

Signs of change at North Central were easy to spot: Sprite. Mr. Pibb. Diet Coke. …

In a bitter bidding battle and market test, Coca-Cola clobbered arch-enemy Pepsi for sole rights to dispense its fizzy wares from strategically placed vending machines in District 81 secondary schools.

School board members last month burned up 90 minutes ratifying the change - far more meeting time than they usually spend on an educational matter.

As a result, students returned to school after Christmas break to discover the Pepsi products had evaporated like Bob Dole’s presidential bid.

As with politics or religion, soft drink superiority is one of those inflammatory issues that brook little middle ground.

“Pepsi is gross,” says avid Coke fan Sara Earnest, 17. “It sugar-coats your teeth.”

“Coke burns your teeth,” counters Duner White, 16, who moments later inexplicably blurts out that Mountain Dew, a popular Pepsi drink, “lowers your sperm count, man!”

I was afraid to ask Duner how he goes about substantiating his odd claim, however, kids aren’t the only ones arguing the cola wars.

Pepsi pooh-bahs, who lost the school contract after holding it eight years, have popped their tops. They suggest, and not too subtly, that their cola rivals may have rigged results that showed Coke vastly outselling Pepsi in a three-month comparison at four Spokane schools.

“In my mind it was a sham,” grumbles Spokane Pepsi General Manager Don Bradley, who is upset that Coke controlled the test data.

“Basically, we whumped ‘em,” offers Coke’s Jim Davis, who takes offense at Pepsi’s accusations of skulduggery. “That’s what it all boils down to.”

Corporate soda jerks sound petty until you remember they are involved in a very serious business where billions in global sales are at stake.

Yet profit is the last concern when it comes to landing a contract with a school district.

To seal the deal, Coke agreed to give the Associated Student Body a whopping 67 percent cut of the gross on every ounce sold. As a bonus, Coca-Cola gave each high school $1,000 plus $250 apiece to each middle school.

Don’t think this is about generosity. All the giveaways and sponsorships are “designed to get the next generation of Pepsi drinkers,” concedes Bradley.

Pepsi, by the way, has cornered the soft drink market at Spokane’s new Arena as well as the Spokane Indians ball park. It also leads Coke in overall area sales. Hmm. Think there’s a connection?

Cola kingpins know that soft drinks are as much pop culture as pop. Getting hooked on the Right One or the Real Thing is one of those peculiar American conversion experiences - like deciding whether you favor Elvis over the Beatles or Chevy over Ford.

Most of us take the sip of faith when we are young.

Let me make a confession. I’m a Diet Coke-aholic. I swill the stuff like tap water - sometimes four or five cans during and after dinner.

I wouldn’t switch to insipid Diet Pepsi if Bradley gave me a lifetime supply.

But there’s no accounting for bad taste. For reasons I cannot comprehend, Pete Lewis, Shaw Middle School’s affable principal, guzzles more Diet Pepsi than humanly possible.

This man doesn’t need a cup holder in his car so much as an IV line. The school district’s Pepsi betrayal will not change the principal’s beverage preference one whit.

For his recent birthday, generous Shaw staffers left enough fresh Diet Pepsi cans on Pete’s desk to rebuild the giant pyramid.

“From a health standpoint,” says Lewis of his titanic cola intake, “it’s not something you’d be proud of.”

I asked Lewis if he somehow had managed to consume all of his birthday gifts yet. Pete paused. “Actually,” he adds sheepishly, “I’m working on my Christmas supply.”

, DataTimes