Cheap Seats
Finally, something practical about bell-bottoms
Barred from bringing their own food and drinks into Atlanta’s new Turner Field, Braves’ fans are smuggling in goodies to protest and to protect their wallets from pricey concessions such as $3.50 Cokes.
“I sneak, sure,” one customer said. “I saw a guy pull a turkey leg, once, right out of his pants. The baggy pants help.”
Even Ted Turner, who owns the place, said $3.50 for a Coke was ridiculous.
So to quench his thirst, Ted smuggles in Dom Perignon.
Here’s a guy who has his priorities centered
Center Steve Everitt has signed with the Philadelphia Eagles, but he can’t get Maryland in his rear-view mirror.
Everitt, who was fined $5,000 for wearing a Browns bandanna during an exhibition game last year, said of the Browns-to-Baltimore fiasco, “I still think about it daily. There’s a big mall downtown with this huge electronic sign that was at 798 days (the last time he saw it) until football returns to Cleveland.”
This season, Everitt’s new team scrimmages the Ravens, plays them in an exhibition in Philly and again during the season in Baltimore.
“That scrimmage is going to be brutal,” Everitt says. “I’m friends with everybody on the team. But I’m sure there are going to be some guys who are out to get me, so I’m going to have to throw the first punch.
“When I was leaving, there were these radio guys saying, ‘We’ll get him when he comes back to Baltimore. We’ll throw Philly cheese steak at him.”’
And Everitt will throw Art Modell back at them.
Tossed in Yonkers
Harness driver Mike Lachance is angry and upset over the judges’ decision not to let him drive in the Yonkers (N.Y.) Trot.
Lachance and three other drivers were attempting to compete in races at Yonkers and the Meadowlands at East Rutherford, N.J.
The three others left the Meadowlands by helicopter after the eighth race at 10:03 p.m. and made it easily to Yonkers in time for the Yonkers Trot at 10:56. Lachance waited until after the 10th race at 10:43 p.m. before leaving.
Still, he made it to Yonkers 2 minutes before the big race and was ready to drive Baltic Bet.
The judges said he was too late, forcing Lachance to lose $1,167.79 - the share of the purse he would have received after Baltic Bet finished fourth.
More melodrama than a Blockbuster video
Florida Marlins players were understandably saddened by the news that Wayne Huizenga had decided to sell the franchise.
“It’s a sad day for me,” said outfielder Gary Sheffield, “because he’s one of the few owners who really cares about the franchise. He gave the product everybody here wanted, we’re playing great ball, and we’re still not getting support. I think that’s what he’s frustrated about.”
Boo, hoo. Sheffield still gets his $10 million no matter who owns the club, even if he continues to hit .230.
The last word …
“Last season the balls were juiced, this year it’s the outfielders.”
Tom FitzGerald, San Francisco Chronicle
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo