Tips Can Make Summer School More Tolerable

Ah, the wonderful thing that is early summer. When the sun shines and the birds sing, you want to rush outside and be a part of it, to roam free among the flowers and let your hair blow in the gentle breeze.

Unfortunately, as any student knows, this is hard to do when you’re stuck in a stuffy classroom learning about dangling participles with dozens of other kids, most of whom are fairly annoying at the best of times.

Yes sir, summer school can be pretty trying when there’s nice weather outside, especially after experiencing the worst winter Spokane has had since the glaciers receded. In fact, when the weather’s real nice, it’s hard to even go to school let alone concentrate.

So until the school board listens to my proposal to move regular session finals to the middle of January, you’ll just have to follow my painstakingly researched and tested “Warm Weather School Survival Guide.”

Listed below are a variety of dynamite options for maintaining concentration and sanity in school when the sun is shining and the air is warm. Not all of these ideas work for everyone, nor should they be combined or tried haphazardly. Look carefully and pick the ones that are right for you.

1. Wear very dark sunglasses when indoors. When you look outside, it will look dark and stormy, making you glad to be in school. Unfortunately, everything else looks dark too and you may have trouble walking in the halls, sitting down or trying to see the blackboard.

2. Upon entering a classroom, immediately lower the blinds and adjust them so no light shines through. This will keep you from seeing the tempting outdoors. Classmates or teachers may object at first, but explain your situation and they’ll understand. Warning: If you do this while wearing extremely dark sunglasses, you may be taken out of class to a place where they only let you outside once a week.

3. Wear extremely heavy, hot clothes. If you go outside, you will become so sweaty and uncomfortable you will rush back in where it is at least partially air conditioned. Winter parkas, mittens and scarves work very well.

4. Spend the night before school in a field with no covers, pillows or sleeping bag. This will make you sick of the outdoors and very glad to be inside where wild squirrels don’t climb into your pants.

5. Do your best to concentrate and pay attention while trying to ignore the view from the window. This is the most difficult one of all and not recommended for beginners.

If you follow one or more of these procedures, you will make it through summer school relatively intact and with only a minor slip of the grades.

Then the rest of summer will be before you and you can sit in the basement and watch TV. xxxx