Married To The Hoop Game Spouses Of Ferris And Mead Coaches Help Build Success Behind The Scenes

Wayne Gilman and Jeanne Helfer are the standard by which other area high school basketball coaches are measured, but even the best are not immune from criticism.

Sue Gilman and Mike Helfer know. They’ve heard it all from their seats in the stands as their high-profile spouses have built their well-deserved reputations.

“It hasn’t happened very much,” Sue Gilman said of overhearing her husband critiqued. “In a way, I find it kind of humorous. I don’t mind when they get on a ref or get on coaches. Where I draw the line is when they get on the kids. Kids are kids, they don’t need that.”

“I don’t say a word (to the bleacher coaches),” Mike Helfer said. “It wouldn’t get me anywhere, just in fisticuffs. What I would like to do is ask them if they would like to go down on the bench and try (coaching) for a couple of games in the playoffs.”

The coaches appreciate the support.

“He believes in my ministry and he sacrifices a tremendous amount for me to be able to do what I do,” said Jeanne Helfer, the coach of the girls team at Mead High School. “The word that best sums it up is sacrifice. He sacrifices a lot so I can do this, and most men are not willing to do that. I’m very thankful for him and to him.”

Says Ferris boys coach Wayne Gilman: “She’s very understanding of the demands with coaching.”

Gilman has built a 421-256 record over 23 years, and in 14 years at Ferris the Saxons have won or shared eight Greater Spokane League titles. He won an Oregon state championship early in his career, and 20 years later, in 1994, captured a Washington state title with Ferris. In seven trips to state with the Saxons, he also has two seconds, a third, fourth and fifth.

Mead’s record under Helfer in the 1990s is even more remarkable. The Panthers won their first state championship in 1990 and their third last March. In between there have been second-, third-, fourth- and fifth-place finishes. Mead’s record in the ‘90s is 193-30, including 116-12 in the GSL and 24-4 at state. The squad also has six outright or shared GSL titles in eight years, but there are still critics.

Both coaches try to improve their resumes this week at the Eastern AAA regional tournaments, and the spouses will be there, Sue Gilman in the back row, Mike Helfer front-row center.

During most Ferris games, Sue Gilman sits in the top row, observing and visiting with her daughter or friends, rarely reacting, it seems, to the action on the court.

“I’m pretty calm. I don’t get too excited until we get to the playoffs. It’s been a lot of years,” Sue Gilman said. “It gets more intense during the playoffs.”

Every game is intense for Mike Helfer, who wears his emotions on the sleeve of his Mead sweatshirt. It’s always been that way for Helfer, who has known Jeanne since grade school in Walla Walla and was her biggest fan during her record-breaking athletic career at Washington State University.

“I’ve been fortunate enough to be along for the ride,” he said. “With her success, I’ve been fortunate to meet a lot of people across the state that I enjoy. She’s the coach and I’m one of the fans along with them. I think it’s great. We just have to allow time to be a family.”

The Gilmans dated while Wayne played basketball at Eastern Washington University. They married 27 years ago after his first season coaching in Oregon.

“I think she did (know what she was getting into), but you would probably have to ask her that to be sure,” he said.

“I didn’t know that much,” Sue said. “I watched him play in college. I knew that was his thing. He loves coaching. I love basketball. A funny thing is when we first met, I told him when I was in grade school I thought the three rings (on the court) were for square dancing.”

During the basketball season, Sue Gilman stays busy as a preschool and kindergarten teacher.

“I love to read, I go to movies … so I have stuff to do,” she said. “We’ve always allowed each other to do our own thing… . People need their own space, need to let their spouse do the things they love to do.

“He’s just away a lot. It seems like we’re both so busy, you tend to just do the things you need to do and don’t worry about the rest.”

That is something her husband notices.

“She’s not on my case all the time to do my fair share,” he said. “I try to do a little more, but I’m sure an unbiased observer would say it’s only trying.”

Mike Helfer said he does whatever needs to be done, which his job as a self-employed financial planner allows.

“My role is to be kind of a gopher at times,” he said. “(Jeanne) won’t admit it. Sometimes it’s watching (daughter) Amanda or just being there for whatever. Coaching at any level is very strenuous; you have to be there and be flexible.”

Actually, Jeanne Helfer admits it.

“He does everything,” she said. “He’s always supporting me by being there, by bringing Amanda when I need to be a mom and taking Amanda when I need to be coach. He has a tremendous sense to know what I need. I couldn’t do what I do without him.”

It’s Mike Helfer’s nature to get involved, and he’s welcome.

“I’m a second pair of eyes,” he said. “She’s obviously the one on the bench. There are times I throw in my two cents, for what it’s worth. If she listens, great, if not, it’s her choice.”

She listens.

“We talk basketball all the time,” Jeanne Helfer said. “We’ll come home at night and he’ll try to help me hash it out. But he understands I don’t need another coach in my life. He understands when I need a coach and when I need a husband.

“We look at it as a family win when we win and a family loss when we lose. I couldn’t do it alone.”

At the Gilman house, the personalities also dictate the exchanges, which are decidedly different.

“I’m pretty introverted about many things,” Wayne Gilman said. “When I do ask her about things or share things that are a concern to me, she’s very good about that. When she has an opinion, she’s not afraid to say what it is.”

“He hates to lose,” Sue said. “If we lose, he’s up at 3 a.m. watching tapes, but when they’re winning, he’s pretty relaxed. I kidded him at Christmas - he read a book. It’s the first book I can remember him reading during the season in a long time.”

The couples’ basketball discussions also reflect the interaction with the team.

“The coaching is his thing; the team is the parents and the kids,” Sue Gilman said. “I try to stay to the side. Sometimes they’re surprised when I yell.”

Mike Helfer said, “I’m extremely close to the teams. I always say I adopt 12 daughters every year, and I make it known if I can help them, all they have to do is ask.”

Often athletics can be an emotional roller coaster, especially those most closely involved.

That’s why Mike Helfer quickly picked out last year’s state championship as the highlight and the 1991 loss in the state championship game as the his biggest disappointment.

Longevity gave Sue Gilman a different perspective.

“The first state championship in Oregon, 20 years before the second one (is a highlight). There’s nothing quite like it,” she said. “When it takes 20 years to get another one, you realize they’re pretty rare.”

And the low point?

“That’s a good question,” she said. “There’s never been anything, really. He’s had years when the team didn’t win, you just deal with it. Just working with kids, those have been the high points, whether they’re winning or losing.

“It’s probably tougher on parents, those two or three years (when their kids are playing), it’s so immediate. But to do it 27 years, it kind of evens out.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 4 Photos (2 Color)

MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: AAA regional First-round pairings Tuesday for the Lamb-Weston Eastern AAA boys and girls regional basketball tournaments. Boys At EWU Shadle Park vs. Davis, 6 p.m. Ferris vs. Eisenhower, 7:30 At Pasco HS University vs. Kamiakin, 6 p.m. At Kamiakin HS Mead vs. Richland, 7:30 Girls At Gonzaga U Ferris vs. Richland, 6 p.m. Gonzaga Prep vs. Walla Walla, 7:30 At Wenatchee Valley CC Mead vs. Wenatchee, 7:30 At Pasco HS Central Valley vs. Kamiakin, 7:30