Sharing Leads To Caring

When I was a child, I remember being taught, “It’s all right to be friendly with others, but keep any troubles you have to yourself. Once the news is out, it’s like feathers in the wind.”

This advice stayed with me throughout my life. In school, I was just like any other child - laughing, running and singing. But when we all gathered around the swingset to share secrets, I remembered this advice and kept my secrets to myself. As an adult, I learned how to handle my problems by sharing them with God. I only shared the happy times with my friends.

For the past nine years, I have worked for a before-and-after school program designed to be a nurturing center for children. One afternoon, I witnessed an event that changed my way of thinking and made me question the value of what I had been taught about keeping troubles to yourself.

I was sitting with a group of children who were diligently coloring. One little girl, looking up from her artwork, simply stated, “My daddy’s in jail. We get to see him this weekend.”

The group of children, who were only a moment ago immersed in their coloring, came together to comfort this child. A little boy looked up from his drawing and said, “My uncle was in jail for a long time. He’s home now.” Soon, another child shared that her neighbor had been in jail once. When the little girl heard this, she smiled in relief, visibly comforted by these simple statements.

She had told them her “secret” and they accepted her and didn’t ask her any questions. They were trying to make her feel better and let her know that she was still OK, no matter what was happening to her daddy.

I sat back and watched in awe as the compassion, uncomplicated and wholesome, poured from the children. At that point, I realized that through giving of the innermost self, pain is eased.

The names and faces from that day have faded. The event has not. The lesson I learned that day remains strong and clear. Compassion, in whatever form it arrives, is a most welcome guest. I am much more willing now to open up about my own troubles. And I find when one person reveals their struggles, others then come forward, too. We’re all in this life together, so if we share personal information, we make the world a more open place.

Like feathers in the wind, compassion gently touches the heart that receives it.